Everyone Needs A Push
by ARRRT
Summary: When Agent Dreamcatcher is sent to help Dib without his knowledge, she mistakes another human for the alien. If that wasn't bad enough, she befriended the REAL alien. What will happen when she invites Zim to join the Swollen Eyeballs? Also, Gaz has been acting very strange recently...
1. Chapter 1

Agent Tunaghost of the Swollen Eyeballs was sitting at the computer, checking her email for new messages. There was only one and it was a file full of blurry and obstructed pictures where all you could see was maybe a gloved hand here and a red eye there, but nothing that would provide concrete evidence of the boy's alien status.

"Agent Mothman again?" Agent Darkbootie appeared over her shoulder.

She nodded and continued scrolling through the pictures. She stopped at a photo of something green with an antennae sticking out of it, but she couldn't tell what it was due to the smiling, green dog jumping at the camera and blocking the view. "Last I heard, he was in the hospital. Got stabbed or something," she smiled half-heartily, "again."

Agent Darkbootie nodded and stepped away from Tunaghost. She stopped him by saying, "do you think he might actually be on to something? I know he can't come up with proof, but..."

"He may be a little annoying at times, but I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt."

"I wish we could help him in some way."

"We can't be there 24/7 with him to watch that alien boy."

"But maybe we can send someone who can," Agent Tunaghost said. "Someone with a lot of free time. Someone like..."

They both became alert, the same person coming to their minds.

"Agent Dreamcatcher," they said together.

"But he can't know she's part of the Swollen Eyeballs," Agent Darkbootie said. "It would crush him if he thought we didn't have faith in his abilities."

"She's from a different branch, so their paths never crossed. We'll just tell her to keep quiet and Mothman will be none the wiser."

* * *

><p>Dib was in the hospital, again. Gaz and professor Membrane were sitting in the waiting room, again. Dib's failed attempts at exposing Zim usually ended with him getting beat up, burned, impaled, or something that would send him to the hospital and Gaz was sick and tired of it. Anger burned in her heart at the thought of all her precious free time being spent playing her video game in some stupid little waiting room when she <em>could <em>be playing her video game in her own, less-stupid, bedroom with the TV on. Her father, however, was a nervous wreck over his little boy, again.

The door opened and a nurse in a clean, white lab coat stepped into the waiting room. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her blue eyes sparkled with child-likeness and joy. She checked her clipboard, looked over to Gaz and professor Membrane, and walked over to them. Gaz scowled. Even her walk was preppy.

"Professor Membrane?" The nurse shook Gaz's father's hand and beamed at him. "I'm happy to tell you that your son will be just fine."

After that, Gaz tuned her out. It was always the same song and dance with these people. Your son's fine blah blah blah, very lucky boy blah blah blah, could've been worse blah, and would you care to see him?

Like always, the professor went in to see Dib and, like always, Gaz chose to stay in the waiting room. The doctors and nurses have long since learned not to waste their time trying to get the little girl to show any sign of feeling towards her brother and to just let the girl be. Usually, they just talked to her father. Usually.

Apparently, this nurse was new.

"You know, your brother is very lucky," she said after the professor left.

Gaz didn't look up from her game. It was a war game and she was in the middle of enemy territory. "Uh huh."

The nurse's smile wavered, but soon perked back up. "It could have been so much worse."

"Got it.

"I know if something like that happened to my brother, I'd be worried sick."

"Yup."

"One more inch and your brother would be dead."

Gaz's finger slipped from the button, costing her character his life.

No nurse had ever used that word with her before. Gaz was sure the word was used with her father, but words like that were taboo around children her age. Of course, Gaz knew how hurt her brother always got. She knew he had brushed with death almost all the time. She knew death was inevitable for everyone at some point.

But to have it spoken.

Intrusive thoughts flashed through her mind as she started the level over. Her father's shouts of 'where did I go wrong?' transformed into cries of 'why didn't I treat him better?', walking by her brother's room only to find it empty and dark, having no one to fight over the remote with when Mysterious Mysteries was on, but most of all, her father's cries. Hers would join his.

The nurse cleared her throat and brought Gaz back to reality.

"Would you like to see him?"

Gaz hesitated.

Gaz closed her gaming console.

It wouldn't kill her to see the little brat for a second.


	2. Chapter 2

Zim stood on the back porch of the school, fists on his hips and breathing deeply as he watched the other kids spend their lunch break playing on the playground.

"Smell that fresh, filthy Earth air, Gir," Zim told the little robot, disguised as a dog, standing beside him. "Soon, it will all be ours. Or destroyed. Whatever comes first."

"I smell tacos," Gir replied.

It was show-and-tell day and what better way to rub in your humanity than with a pet? Besides, Gir begged to go and refused to stop crying and screaming until Zim agreed.

Just a few minutes prior, Zim had dragged Gir to the front of the class, looked Dib right in the eyes, and said, "this is my perfectly normal, nothing out of the ordinary, Earth pet-dog, Gir. As you can see, he is just like all the other dogs as I am just like all the other humans. He is uninteresting and completely normal."

"Hi!" Gir shouted.

"Gir! Bad dog!"

Luckily, no one but Dib noticed the dog's outburst.

"Are they serving tacos today?" Gir asked, staring longingly towards the cafeteria.

"We have more important things to worry about than tacos, Gir! We have to continue our plan to take over this human wasteland!"

"What is the plan?"

Zim drew a blank. He thought, _well...what do we want? Power! But how can we get it?_ He thought some more. Ms. Bitters went on a rant that morning about how the world was doomed to be slaves to the rich, so money must equal power! Zim smiled as he thought about throwing the green bills at people's faces and having them bow to him in response. Now, where does one get money?"

"Gir, we're going to rob a bank," Zim said, not noticing a certain black haired boy coming up behind him. "We'll gather up the Earth currency and rule the world with it!"

"Planning something illegal, Zim?" Dib demanded.

Zim spun around and scowled at him. "You were eavesdropping! Eavesdropper! Eavesdropper! On a unrelated note, do you know where the nearest bank is?"

Dib scoffed and walked away. "You won't get away with it. Don't waste your time!"

"You underestimate me, weasel!" Zim called after him.

Dib scanned the nearby area until his eyes fell on his sister. She was sitting at one of the picnic tables, facing him, and lost in her video game. Dib sat by Gaz and said, "of course, I'm going to follow him. But does he really think he can pull something like that off?"

Dib always talked to his sister about the alien. He knew Gaz never listened, but when sitting by her, no one could tell he was talking to himself. He could talk to his heart's content without getting teased for being crazy. He was teased for being crazy because of the other things he did, but talking to himself wasn't one of them.

"He wants to rob a bank. Look at him, checking that weird alien thingamabob. He's probably looking up where the nearest bank is. Does he really think he can get past security? I wish I knew where he was going. If I follow him, he might see me and put the plan off until later, but if I knew where he was going, I could go ahead and stop him when-"

"Alright! Stop talking! I'll help you! Geez! Do you ever shut up?" Gaz snapped her game shut and pulled out her cell phone.

Dib was shocked. She had been _listening_? She was offering to _help_? Who was this girl? "Uh, thanks."

"Anything to stop your stupid voice." She typed on the keyboard and scrolled down the Internet page. "There's a bank about a five minute walk from here. Knowing Zim, he'll try to rob it during the lunch break. Five minutes there, five minutes back. Lunch is 30 minutes, so that gives him 20 to rob the place. Are you happy now?"

Zim was already on the move. Dib jotted down the directions to the bank on his palm, said, "thanks, Gaz!", then chased after Zim.

"Shut up!" Gaz called after him.

Gaz felt a little better, but the nurse's voice still haunted her mind.

* * *

><p>Agent Dreamcatcher stepped on the school ground, a jump rope in her hands to help create the illusion that she was suppose to be there. She was chubby, plain-looking, and not very pretty, which was perfect because pretty girls drew too much attention to themselves. She snuck a peak at the photo in her pocket. It was given to her by Agent Tunaghost. Agent Dreamcatcher quickly matched the image to the boy running across the blacktop. Good, she had located Agent Mothman.<p>

Now, to find the alien.

"You're Age-uh, Dib's sister, right?" She said, standing in front of the girl Dreamcatcher saw with Mothman.

Gaz didn't look up from her game. "Yup."

"Are you in his class?"

"Nope."

It was clear Gaz wasn't the conversation-holding type.

"My name is Sam."

No answer. "Do you know someone in Dib's class named-" she paused. What did Agent Darkbootie and Tunaghost say his name was? Oh, right. "Zeke?"

Gaz took a moment to save the game, then looked behind her. She pointed to a brunette boy playing on the monkey bars, then turned back to her game. Sam watched the boy. Agent Mothman said the alien's disguise was as see-through as ice, but this one looked positively human. Am I losing my touch? No, maybe Dib was just exaggerating. Sam headed for the swing set to observe the boy closer without looking suspicious.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I forgot to mention that I don't own anything except Sam (and even then, what with all the anti-slavery laws...)

* * *

><p>Zim and Gir were halfway to the bank when Dib jumped out of the bushes in front of them.<p>

"You'll never reach the bank before the school bell rings!" Dib shouted. "I'll be right here to stop you! You'll never be able to get past me!"

Zim scooped Gir up and threw him at the human, knocking him over. As they struggled, Zim continued walking, whistling to himself. After a few feet, Gir came flying at his back.

"You DARE throw Irken technology at ME?" Zim shouted. "Why you insufferable-"

Both children let out a yelp as they were lifted off the ground by their shirts.

"Skipping school, are we?" Ms. Bitters hissed at them. "That's an automatic after-school DETENTION!"

She dragged the two boys away, ignoring Zim's demands to be put down.

* * *

><p>"I hope you're happy," Dib growled at Zim as he took a seat in the back of the near-empty classroom. "You've ruined my perfect record."<p>

"I am happy, thank you." Zim took a seat two seats away from him.

There were four other kids in detention, all spread-out and doing their own things. Some drew, others just stared out the window, and one was chewing on his pencil. The person hosting the detention was one of the teacher's daughters, a teenage girl with bright orange hair and headphones that took up a good portion of her head. She was leaning back on her chair, watching a movie on her iPod. The one and only rule of detention was that you can do whatever you want as long as you're quieter than her iPod.

The door opened and three more students entered the detention room. The first one in was a brunette boy Zim and Dib recognized as Zeke from their class. The next one was a blonde, chubby girl they've never seen before. The last kid in was Gaz. She stared at her video game as she walked and didn't even look at the detention-host when she gave her her detention slip.

Zeke took a seat a few rows in front of Dib. The blonde girl took a seat right next to Dib. Gaz took the seat on the opposite of Dib, next to Zim.

"Gaz? What are you doing here?" Dib asked.

"Got in trouble for playing video games in class."

"So you're playing video games in detention?"

"It's quieter than her iPod, isn't it?" Gaz snapped.

The blonde girl, who had been staring at Zeke a few seconds ago, turned to Dib and held out her hand. "Hello. I'm Sam. Nice to meet you."

Dib looked confused for a second, then shook her hand. "Dib."

"What can you tell me about that boy?" She pointed to Zeke.

Agent Tunaghost and Agent Darkbootie had specifically told her not to give Dib any hints about her ties with the Swollen Eyeballs. "Be his friend and offer to help with his alien studies, but he can't know we sent you," they had told her. Maybe asking about the alien outright was cutting it close, but Agent Dreamcatcher had no idea how Dib could tell he was an alien and she wanted answers, darn it!

"Zeke?" Dib passed a glance to the boy, then to Sam. Thinking she had a crush on Zeke, Dib decided it was best to let her know what she was in for. "He's a little weird."

"Weird like worshipping squirrels weird or weird like, I don't know, outer space weird?"

"I saw him eat glue once."

_Ah, so aliens eat glue_, Sam thought. _Very interesting_. "Tell me more about him."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything!"


	4. Chapter 4

Agent Dreamcatcher listened intently as Dib listed off all of Zeke's qualities, bad and good. Not once did he mention Zeke being an alien. Poor kid, Sam thought. He must've been teased so much that he's keeping quiet about it. Sam wondered if harping about aliens is what got him stabbed a few days earlier.

"And that's about it," he finished.

For the entire duration of the story, Zim had been shooting spitballs at Dib. Most of them missed because Gaz was in the way and leaning to avoid her threw off his aim, but some of them hit his desk. Dib quickly swept them off after the story.

"Why not go talk to him?" Dib asked.

"Good idea!" _Yes_! She was finally being accepted in the mission! "What do I say?"

"Just ask him about himself."

_An information retrieval task! Sweet!_ "I'll do my best!" She gave Dib a salute, then went to sit by Zeke.

"She's nice," Dib said to his sister.

"Don't talk to me."

Something softly hit the window, making a tapping sound. It was soon followed by another tap, then a stronger one, then a whole barrage of stronger, louder taps. Everyone looked out the window.

"It's raining," Sam said.

"Yes!" Dib shouted.

"No!" Zim shouted.

"Quiet down!" The teenager detention-host ordered.

"The rain will destroy you, alien scum!" Dib said, wanting the last word.

Sam turned around real fast, but Dib was staring smugly out the window. She looked to Zeke. Zeke was giving Dib a look like he was mental, then turned back to Sam. "Ignore him. He's crazy."

_You would say that, wouldn't you, alien scum?_ Agent Dreamcatcher smiled. "Of course."

When detention was over, the kids took off running in all directions. Some splashed and played in the puddles, others practically hid from the rain. Sam sat on the school's front porch and watched Zeke do everything in his power to prevent himself from getting wet. Aliens don't like water, huh?

"What's wrong, Zim?" Sam turned to see Dib, Zim, and Gaz coming up behind her. "Can't handle a little water?"

"I love water! Water is my friend!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I, uh, forgot my jacket at home. Don't want to freeze to death! Better stay here until the rain passes."

"What's wrong? Little Zim afraid of the bad weather?"

Funny, Sam never would've thought Agent Mothman to be the bully type. From what she'd heard about him, he was bullied himself, and a lot. She didn't like it.

"Here." Sam took off her jacket and wrapped it around Zim's shoulders. Then, she reached into her backpack and handed him her umbrella. "I like the rain," she said in case Zim was about to protest. (He wouldn't have, but Sam didn't know that.)

Zim grinned triumphantly at Dib, who sneered in response, and marched out into the rain.

"You shouldn't pick on him," Sam said.

"But, but he-"

"I don't want to hear it." Sam turned and walked away. Maybe there was a _reason_ Dib wasn't well-liked.

* * *

><p>When Zim made it back home, he tossed the jacket and umbrella out onto the lawn. They smelled like human.<p>

"Gir!" Zim shouted, standing in the middle of the living room. "Go out and destroy those disgusting human things!" Zim waited and got no response. "Gir?"

* * *

><p>Gir was in the middle of the sidewalk, singing the doom song and dancing. His dog disguise was soaked head to toe and he kept looking around to see of his master was coming back for him. He hasn't seen Zim since Ms. Bitters took him and Mary away. Oh, well. The bank's not going anywhere.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

The lunch bell rang and kids from all over the school poured out of their classrooms. The cafeteria quickly filled up as children grabbed their lunches and took seats with their friends. Zim, like always, sat alone.

He stared down at his food and grimaced. He was in a particularly bad mood today thanks to the hours he spent the night before trekking through the rain, looking for Gir. He should have just left him, but Zim didn't want to deal with, at best, a rusty robot.

A plate dropped down on the spot in front of him and Zim looked up from his food.

"I still feel bad about what happened yesterday," Sam said, sitting down. "I'm sorry that Dib would tease you like that."

"I'll get my revenge," Zim said, looking over her shoulder at Dib, who was sitting with his sister at another table. "Revenge will be mine!"

"I just feel like I'm responsible for him or something," Agent Dreamcatcher continued. "I mean, I was sent to help him."

"Sent?" Zim was immediately suspicious. "Sent by who? Help him with what?"

Sam took a quick look around. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course! No one is a better secret-keeper than Zim! Secret is my middle name!"

"Well, me and Dib are both part of a secret paranormal investigators' organization called the Swollen Eyeballs. We try to prove the existence of all sorts of things like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, aliens-"

"Lies!" Zim shouted. "I mean, go on."

"It's true! And I was sent here without Dib's knowledge to help him investigate an alien."

"Don't be silly! We're all humans here. Just normal, everyday-"

"Maybe _we_ are, but-"

"DON'T INTURRUPT ZIM!" A short pause. "-humans."

Another pause. Dreamcatcher continued. "Like I was saying, Dib can't know I'm from the Swollen Eyeballs because he'll get upset. Right now, I'm helping him investigate an alien." Sam turned and pointed at Zeke who was sitting a few tables down. "_That_ is our alien."

"Him? He's not fit to clean an alien's shoe!"

"Exactly! He must have a really good disguise."

"I've seen better."

"You have, have you?" Sam thought for a moment, debating something in her mind. "Zim, was it? How would you like to be an official member of the Swollen Eyeballs?"

"I would never sink so low as to waste my time- Wait a minute. You said the Dib-Monkey was part of this organization?" Dreamcatcher nodded. "And this organization, is it powerful?"

"The most powerful paranormal investigating organization in the world."

"Many followers?"

"Millions."

"Do they have a ruler?"

"There's a hierarchy, yes, but there's more than one person the organization listens to."

"And if I were to somehow become one of the rulers, the millions would listen to me?"

"Ambitious, aren't we?" Sam said. "Yes."

"Including the Dib-Stink?" Sam paused, then nodded. Zim smiled evilly. "I would _love _to join!"

"Great! There's a meeting going on today at 8:00 PM. It's only for my branch of the organization, but that's still a good couple hundred people. I'll introduce you and we'll be all set."

"And who do I talk to about being one of the rulers?"

"You just have to gain people's trust and get them to like you. They'll vote you up there. Also, it wouldn't hurt to find something paranormal."

"Paranormal, huh?"

-

"Gir! Stop scratching! You're shedding all over the couch!"

"But it's itchy!" Gir cried, scratching his face with his feet.

"You're dressed as Bigfoot, you're SUPPOSE to be itchy!"

Gir made a loud wailing sound and fell to the floor. He began rolling around and his poorly-made Bigfoot costume was losing fur fast, not that it mattered much because there was a _lot_ of fur on it.

Zim picked the robot up and put him in his backpack. "Do we have to go over the plan again?"

Gir's eyes turned red underneath the costume and his voice deepened. "Wait until you show me off to the organization, then escape out the back door, SIR!" His eyes turned blue again. "And you'll bring me some snacks, right?"

Zim zipped the backpack up and threw it over his shoulders. It was starting to get dark and he didn't want to be late. He opened the front door to his house and was greeted with a blinding light. He dropped his backpack (Gir shrieked) and fell. The light was gone as quickly as it came and Zim saw Gaz standing in the doorway, holding a camera, and wrapped head-to-toe in a bed sheet.

"Oh, you're wearing your disguise. Oh well, I tried."

"What are you doing here? How'd you get past security?"

"A sheet blocks out the motion sensors," Gaz said, bored.

"You're lying!"

"Watch Mythbusters." Gaz turned and walked down the path. The gnomes didn't stir.

"That was weird," Zim said.

Gir moved inside the bag and Zim picked it up. He closed the door behind him and headed for Agent Dreamcatcher's house.


	6. Chapter 6

"That's Agent Quizzical. Oh, and that's Agent Catkeeper. Over there is Agent Scoreboard and his girlfriend Agent Nightblade!" As they walked up to the city's convention center, Sam excitedly pointed out all the Agents in her branch. It was amazing that she could know so many people, let alone remember their names.

They entered the building and were met with the warm smell of food. Swollen Eyeball members of all ages flooded the place, talking and walking. Some ate in the area with the tables, others hurried up the wide staircase to the conference room, and a few looked completely lost.

"Are you hungry?" Sam asked, pointing to the tables filled with all kinds of food.

"No." Zim backed away. "Let's just get the meeting."

"It doesn't start for another half hour."

"I SAID GET TO THE MEETING!" Zim shouted.

"Pushy," Dreamcatcher scoffed. "You can. I'm going to talk to people, something you probably should do, too, if you want people to like you enough to vote you in as a leader."  
>Zim scowled and reluctantly followed Dreamcatcher. For the next half hour, he met with Swollen Eyeball members and made small talk. Everyone was a lot nicer than he had expected and they quickly took a liking to the green-skinned boy and his over-the-top antics. All the while, Zim was thinking about nothing but tearing their heads off and destroying each and every one of them in a horrible fire. Finally, the time came for the meeting to begin.<p>

"I told them about you in advance," Sam said, bringing the alien to the stage rather than to the audience. "If you make a good first impression, they might let you skip initiation." Sam shuddered at the memory of her own initiation. So many spiders...

There was a row of seven chairs at the back end of the stage where three other people were seated. They were all dressed in black and dark purple, making Zim and Sam stand out with Zim's red clothes and Sam's blue.

"Those are the leaders of our branch," Sam whispered to Zim.

Once everyone was seated, the woman sitting closest to Sam stood up and walked to the podium. Her dark purple dress had a black spider-web pattern at the bottom that stretched up to her right side. She addressed the crowd in a loud, beautiful voice.

"Welcome, my fellow Swollen Eyeball brothers and sisters." The crowd clapped respectfully. "Tonight, we have a special guest who has the potential to be accepted into our organization.

Agent Dreamcatcher, will you introduce your friend to us?"

Zim and Sam stood up and the audience clapped once more. Sam strode to the podium in a confident stride. Her head was held high and she leaned over to the microphone.

Then, she was gripped with a sudden rush of stage fright.

She squeaked and the crowd laughed. "I want to introduce Zim. My friend. My friend, Zim." she tripped over her words. Sam stepped back and pushed Zim forward. Her face was red and he could tell she thought she made a complete fool of herself. The audience didn't seem to mind and Zim thought she did an alright job, but Sam was humiliated.

"Hello humans, which I am also one of," he began. The crowd laughed again. "I would like to gain entrance to your organization and win you over with my superior charm and intellect. To show my sincerity and loyalty to this organization, I present to you now, a peace offering." Zim stepped out from behind the podium and dropped his backpack to the floor. "Everyone,"

Zim began unzipping the bag, "Bigfoot!"

Gir leapt out of the bag, screaming his happy, high-pitch squeal. He back-flipped to the front of the stage and stood with his arms stretched over his head. The audience went crazy. They clapped, they laughed, they cheered and it all spooked Gir. The little robot sprinted to the meeting room's door, almost getting captured by a few quick-thinking Swollen Eyeball members, and disappeared. By the time the laughter stopped, Gir was a few blocks away, changing into his dog disguise.

"Oh well, he escaped. Do you puny humans love me yet?" Zim shouted. The crowd went wild again and Zim soaked in their admiration like a sponge.

Once it was quiet again, the branch's leaders gave a quick speech, talked about some new findings, made announcements about upcoming events, presented evidence of a dragon living in the mountains, handed awards out to a few over-achieving members, and sent everyone away. Most people stayed in the convention center to catch up with old friends, eat, and meet the newest member who gave them a glimpse at the 'mythical creature'.

"There's nothing much to tell. I just saw him frolicking through some fog in the forest at night. Perfect Bigfoot conditions," Zim said to the group surrounding him. _What's so funny_? He thought when they laughed.

"Zim," Sam tapped the alien on the shoulder, "we have to go now. My mom's here to pick us up."

Zim looked back to the group. "Goodbye, my filthy adoring fans, but I'm afraid I must be off."

The people groaned and complained and someone said, "You'll be at the Swollen Eyeballs potluck next week, right? Every branch in the state it invited and we'd love for everyone to meet you."

"Of course I will. Until then, I want you all to spread the word of my awesome awesomeness to all the other branches!" The group laughed and agreed. They thought he was joking, but it didn't matter because this time tomorrow, word of Zim will be all over the Swollen Eyeball network. What could he say? He was charismatic when he needed to be.

For the next week, Zim was a social butterfly. He talked to Swollen Eyeball members from all branches, except Dib's, arranged meetings, went to parties, and skyrocketed his popularity. He "befriended" some of the leaders and used them for information. Zim was in luck. Agent Bespectacled, one of the leaders of the leaders, would be announcing his leave from the Swollen Eyeballs at the potluck. He was in charge of 1/3 of the entire organization and a new leader would have to be voted in the following week.

Zim was elated when he called the Tallests. He poured out the story and ended by saying, "I will have millions under my control!"

"But you'll only be in charge of 1/3," Purple said, skeptical about Zim's future influence, "and they might not even listen to you."

"Of course they will! They'll have no choice! They will be my slaves and I will use them to destroy the world!" Zim laughed loudly and Gir joined in.

Gir stopped laughing. "I don't get it."

"I don't understand," Red spoke up. "How'd you get them to even like you?"

"They said I was funny." Zim shrugged.

"You certainly make us laugh." Purple and Red started chuckling to each other.

"Thank you, my Tallests. Your praise is deserved and appreciated."

Zim shut off the transmission as the Tallests laughed even harder.

* * *

><p>Gaz sat in the dark hallway, knees pressed against her chest, leaning against the bathroom door. She was silent, going so far as to make her breathing as quiet as possible. She could hear very small brushing sounds and mutterings coming from the bathroom. The only light in the entire hallway came from the crack underneath the closed door. Dib had come home around midnight, covered in still-bleeding wounds, after being mauled by what he thought was a chupacabra. It was only a very large raccoon.<p>

Dib had been in the bathroom for the last hour, cleaning and treating his wounds. Though she'd never admit it, Gaz was terrified.

The nurse's words still buzzed in her head and since the day they were spoken, Gaz had been hypersensitive about all of Dib's injuries. Has he _always_ been getting hurt this often?

The door opened suddenly and Gaz fell backwards. She looked up to him and her brother looked down to her.

"Gaz? What are you doing?"

"You spend so long in the bathroom!" Gaz snapped. "Other people need to use it, you know! Why do you have to be such a bathroom hog?"

Gaz got up, shoved him out of the way, and slammed the door in his face. She waited until the footsteps disappeared into Dib's room before coming out again, biting her nails.

* * *

><p>AN Ok, someone pointed something out and I thought maybe I was too subtle with it when I wrote it. The complaint: Dib's been telling everyone about Zim, so why are they letting Zim in? The answer: Dib's been telling the people _in his own branch of the organization _about Zim (Darkbootie, Tunaghost, etc.) Dib, being just a regular member, doesn't usually talk to the other branches except for the events, get-togethers, and maybe the occasional long-distance friend. That's why Tunaghost and Darkbootie chose Dreamcatcher, someone from a different branch, to help Dib, because Dib wouldn't recognize her. Dib wouldn't tell all the other branches about Zim unless he had absolute solid proof and got it cleared with his branch's leaders. That's also why Zim is taking special care to stay away from Dib's branch when in his "social butterfly" mode. (Of course, people are _talking _about Zim all over the branches and it's only natural Dib's branch will hear of it. So, either we could say Zim is a common name and Dib's branch wouldn't assume that an alien would head straight to the belly of the beast so they think he's a different Zim, or I can admit we have a plot hole. Either way, stuffs going to hit the fan because of this later.)


	7. Chapter 8

It was the morning of the Swollen Eyeballs' potluck and Dib was in his room, getting ready. Gaz, staring down at her game as she walked, entered Dib's room and leaned against the doorway.

"Dad wants to know what time you're coming home," Gaz lied, not looking up from her console.

"I'll probably be gone all day," Dib ran a brush through his hair and polished his glasses. "They've rented out the whole park! It's going to be huge! I can't wait to find out what's new in Agent Penname's branch. I heard he found some fairy bones."

"You're not going to do something stupid like go off in the woods to look for dumb dwarves or something, are you? That's pretty stupid."

"Hey, there _are_ dwarves out in those woods and someday I'm going to prove it. But, no, today is just to relax and have fun. Though, I might talk with some of the senior Swollen Eyeballs and see what they know about aliens."

Gaz grunted in reply and left, content that Dib wasn't going to get himself eaten or killed.

* * *

><p>"We can hide from Dib together," Sam said, opening the car door and jumping out onto the park's thick green grass. "So he won't pick on you and so he won't recognize me."<p>

Sam's mother handed Dreamcatcher a plate full of chocolate chip cookies and told Zim and Sam to have fun. She drove off as the two walked through the tall white gates surrounding the park's entrance.

"It shouldn't be too hard," Sam continued. "This place is so big I'd be surprised of we see any of our _own_ branch members. Speaking of which, here." She draped a bright blue lanyard over Zim's head and put one on herself. "Blue is the color of our branch and two of our closest sister branches. If you get lost or need help, you can ask anyone, but look for the blue threads first. Branch members need to stick together."

"And what color will Dib be wearing?" Zim asked, looking at his lanyard like it was a dirty sock.

"He's red."

Zim made a mental note to avoid everyone in a red lanyard and examined his surroundings. They were walking across a large expanse of grass towards a party area where tables and chairs were set up in a neat fashion. One table held snacks and treats and there were balloons that held the Swollen Eyeball's insignia on them tied to some of the chairs. The balloons were also tied around the wrists of some of the younger organization members. Given their very young age, they were probably the children of the older members. There was a playground a few yards to the right of the party area where kids in many different colored lanyards ran around and played. There was a stone path on the left of the party area that lead through a garden of multi-colored flowers, curved around a large koi pond, and disappeared through the more tree-filled places.

There certainly were a lot of people, though it was difficult to tell considering they were all spread out, but not as many as Zim had imagined. There was maybe forty of fifty people here at most, not including the kids, of course.

"This isn't the entire park," Sam said as if reading Zim's mind. "The park goes on for miles and there are a bunch of party areas in different places. They do this so the Swollen Eyeballs won't be crowded and bunched up in a little place. No, the entire crowd won't be together until we meet at the stage located in the middle of the park. The leaders and the leaders' leaders will be making speeches there."

Zim squinted against the sun as they got closer to the group and saw at least three people wearing red lanyards. Zim and Sam were almost at the tables. Zim made a sharp turn to the right and headed towards the playground.

"Where are you going?" Dreamcatcher asked. A few nearby people turned at the sound of Sam's voice. Some, recognizing Zim, smiled and waved him over.

"I, uh, have to use the humans' bathroom because I have a bladder just like a normal person does."

"The bathrooms are that way." Sam pointed towards the tables. Just a little bit beyond them, there was a small building with the bathroom symbols on the doors.

"I meant the _other _bathrooms." Zim turned and ran before Dreamcatcher could protest further.

* * *

><p>"But, yeah, the fairy bones turned out to just be a few twigs." Agent Penname, or Ricky, shrugged sheepishly and tugged at his purple lanyard. "Hey, you know what we should do? Let's go meet the new member. I heard he's hilarious."<p>

"New member?"

"You haven't heard?"

"I've heard a little bit from Tunaghost, but she hasn't met him yet, either. Besides, I've been a little preoccupied. Did you know a large raccoon looks just like a chupacabra in the right light? Also, my sister's been acting weird recently. I think she's planning to kill me."

"I thought you said she was being attentive."

"Yes, exactly. So, what's the new kid's name?"

Ricky drew a blank. "I'm not good with names, you know that. I've just been calling him the new guy. Watch. Hey, Agent E.T!"

An elderly woman turned from her seat at the table.

"Where's the new guy?"

"I think he's in the bathroom."

Penname turned to Dib. "See? They know who I'm talking about."

Dib laughed and somewhere to their left, Dreamcatcher noticed the two and dove behind a trash can.

* * *

><p>Tallest Purple and Red were lounging in the control room, eating snacks and drinking soda.<p>

"Hey, Purple? You don't think Zim will spill all the secrets of Irken just to gain favor, become leader of the Swollen Eyeballs and get power over Earth, do you?"

"What brought that up?"

"Think about it. Zim's a moron."

Purple paused. His eyes became wide. "You're right. What do we do?"

Red bit into his space-candy bar and chewed, thinking. "We can't tell him not to tell, it'll only give him the idea _to_ do it. But, it wouldn't hurt to dampen his credibility a little." Red sat upright and pulled a transmission TV screen down from the air above him. "All we have to do is a little hacking, a little searching, and a little voice modification and we can send a message to someone from the Swollen Eyeballs."

"Who?"

"Anyone. They'll spread the word."

* * *

><p>It's very difficult to remain hidden when so many people know you. Zim's "friends" kept showing up, wanting to talk paranormal or introduce him to other members. Zim practically had to run for his life whenever he got too close to someone in a red lanyard. Luckily, there were a few times when the lanyards around him were all colors <em>but <em>red and he could talk freely and charm the humans. He still couldn't tell why they thought he was so funny.

Finally, the moment arrived when everyone gathered up their stuff and headed for the stage in the middle of the park. The crowd was _massive _and Zim felt like he could be completely surrounded by red threads and still be unnoticed. There must have been thousands of people of all ages, shapes, and sizes gathering at the stage.

Sam grabbed Zim's arm and the alien yanked himself away. He glared at Dreamcatcher and she glared right back. "Don't flatter yourself. I just don't want us getting separated. Mom won't be too happy if we have to hunt you down before taking you home."

Zim grumbled, but let her hold on.

The shorter people were ushered forward until everyone was able to see the twenty-five people on stage. "Those are the leaders and the leaders' leaders," Sam said. "Those three," she pointed to an elderly man, a middle-aged man, and a young woman, "are the leaders' leaders. They're in charge of 1/3-"

"Yes. Yes. I get it. Leaders-Shmeeters. Someday I will rule them all."

Sam laughed. "Everyone's right, you _are_ funny."

A leader took the microphone and opened with a greeting to "the wonderful branches that could make it today". Zim shuddered at the thought of there being even more Swollen Eyeballs that didn't show up today. The leader said a few words about some branchs' accomplishments from the last few weeks, then passed the mic to the next leader. More words were spoken, the microphone was passed through more hands, and all was boring until the microphone fell to the elderly leaders' leader.

"My fellow Eyeballs," he said, pushing his glasses closer to his eyes, "you have all filled my life with so much joy and excitement and I thank you for that, but as you know, I will not live forever. I am old and just yesterday I celebrated, with my son, the birth of my second granddaughter." The crowd aww'd and clapped and the old man smiled. "I have decided to use the last of my years on Earth to be a great grandfather to her and my older grandson. So, it is with a hopeful heart that I resign from the Swollen Eyeballs. But, have no doubt, you all will be deeply missed."

The crowd clapped and cheered as the microphone was handed off to the young woman.

"A voting will take place next week to find a new person to take over Agent Bespectacled role as leaders' leader. If you're interested write your name on a card on the table to the left of the stage and put it in the green box or, for those who didn't show up today, they can send an email. An message will be sent out tomorrow with the names of who applied and who you can vote for. Thank you."

With that, the Swollen Eyeballs broke apart and headed for home. Zim looked up to the sky and realized that it _was_ getting pretty late. With Sam being towed behind him, Zim rushed to the table and scribbled his name onto the card. As he dropped it in, a horrible thought occurred to him. Dib will get an email with the names of the candidates just like everyone else. No doubt he'll be suspicious. And the day of the voting, wouldn't there be a mandatory speech? That's what happens when someone runs for leader: people want you to talk! No doubt Dib will expose him in front of everyone.

But if Dib was somehow injured badly enough that he'd be in the hospital for a whole week...

* * *

><p>Agent Penname waited by the gates and watched the leaders' leaders talk to a group of Swollen Eyeball members. Ricky wanted to be one of them someday, but he didn't have the guts to actually apply, even when an opportunity was open right before him. Besides, he had stage fright and would freeze up at the thought of giving a speech on voting day. Oh well, it probably wasn't worth the stress anyway.<p>

Penname's pocket vibrated and he pulled out his phone. It wasn't his normal one, which he left on the dresser at his house, it was his special Swollen Eyeballs one. The Swollen Eyeballs had their own service provider, which made it harder for people outside the organization to bug phones or find their number, so it scared him a little to see that he didn't recognize the number on the caller I.D screen.

"Hello?"

"Are you from the Swollen Eyeballs?" The voice on the other end was unnaturally deep and Penname could immediately tell the voice was being changed through technology.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"I called to warn you. There is a traitor in your organization."

"What?" Ricky asked. "How?"

"Beware the one who seems to know a little too much about the aliens. He's lying through his teeth about their weaknesses, looks, and abilities."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because..." There was a pause and a second voice jumped in. "Because he's working _with_ the aliens and he wants you to be unprepared for when they come."

"Come? Come when? Come to do what?"

"Just don't believe a word he says! He's lying!" The transmission cut off.

_A traitor?_ Penname put his phone in his pocket. _But who? Who's the one that knows too much about aliens? _A lot of Eyeballs knew about the aliens. It was a widely studied field amongst them. Who could-

"Agent Penname!" Dib raced over to his friend, smiling. "Guess what? I talked to Agent Queenbee and she said there was an alien sighting not too far from here."

Ricky stared at his friend, a look of horror on his face.

"What's wrong?" Dib asked, smile fading.

_No, _Penname thought. _It can't be. Dib's been in this organization ever since he was old enough to talk. He can't be a traitor. _Ricky laughed nervously. "Nothing, I was just thinking of a funny joke."

Dib laughed, then continued talking about Queenbee's alien. Ricky wasn't listening to a word. Dib wouldn't turn traitor, would he? Whoever was on the phone didn't say exactly _when _he started working with the aliens. What if Dib finally found them and joined forces in order to learn their secrets. Would Dib do that? Considering how obsessed with aliens Dib was, he really wouldn't put it past the boy. And didn't Dib say there was an alien in his own classroom?

"Dib, will you excuse me for a second? I want to have a little chat with the leaders' leaders before they leave."

"Oh, go ahead."

Ricky waved and walked off. He couldn't just be silent about the transmission, that was for sure, and if people started pointing fingers at Dib, it was no business of his, friend or no friend.

* * *

><p>AN I'm going to go ahead and dedicate this chapter to Invader Johnny because every time I publish a chapter, I always look forward to his chapterly review! Thank you for reading! (Also, no, stuff hasn't hit the fan yet. When it does, it _really _does)


	8. Chapter 9

A/N The worst thing about typing most of this on a phone and emailing it to myself is the autocorrect. I usually put these things on word to check for spelling typos, but they don't catch switched up words. So, if you find any, feel free to tell me where

* * *

><p>"Agent Darkbootie, hi!" Sam smiled at the man's silhouette on the transmission screen. It was only a few hours after the party, but she couldn't hold in her excitement. "Listen, you know the new kid everyone's been talking about? Agent...Oh, he doesn't have a codename yet, does he? Well, I was thinking of asking him to watch Mothman's alien with me."<p>

"Dreamcatcher..."

"I think his codename should be Agent Funnybone. Or Agent Joker. I like Joker. Anyway, he's running to be the new leaders' leader and who would vote for him if he hasn't contributed anything? Sure, he's popular and all, but this is still a paranormal investigators organization."

"Agent Dreamcatcher-"

"So, I want him and me to spend the next week gathering proof on the alien. On voting day, when he's giving his speech, we'll present the proof, expose the alien, and that will 100% guarantee him to be voted in! Isn't that great?"

"Agent-"

"I kind of feel bad that we'll be taking the alien out from under Mothman, but he had plenty of time to get proof and he was unable to. But, we'll be sure to thank him in the speech," Sam said.

"I want you to ease up a little on the alien talk, Agent Dreamcatcher," Agent Darkbootie finally blurted out.

"What? Why?"

"Haven't you heard the news?"

"What news?"

"An official message will be sent out tomorrow along with the candidate list, but word is already traveling fast. We received an anonymous tip that told us there is a traitor in the organization. Some who "knows too much about aliens"."

"You don't really think it's me, do you? I never studied aliens until you told me to help Agent Mothman."

"No, of course not, but right now the Swollen Eyeballs are in a state of panic. They don't take traitors lightly ever since what happened last time."

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"It was some time ago, a few years before you were even born." Darkbootie sighed, remembering. "A fairy joined the Swollen Eyeballs and began switching our members out with changelings or look-alike fairy folk. We lost 2,000 members before they were found out. We killed the changelings and the offending fairy, but the missing people still remain long gone. Who knows what could have happened to them."

"You didn't keep the changelings for study?"

"We didn't have a choice; They attacked us. 2,000 of them against whoever was closest to their area to fight back. It was a war zone. Anyway, now that word of another traitor has broken out, fingers are being pointed at everyone. They're accusing friends, family, neighbors, new members, old members, really anyone who has ever talked about an alien since joining. Even our closest sister branch is questioning us about Mothman. But you, however, _haven't_ talked about aliens before. You're in the clear and Tunaghost and I don't want to cause you unnecessary stress by making people suspect you. So, keep quiet about the alien until this all blows over."

"Stress?" Sam was still hanging on that word. "Agent Darkbootie, I'm not afraid of getting kicked out of the Swollen Eyeballs. I'll just continue my work on the outside."

"Kicked out? Sam, if they think you're a traitor, they'll have you killed. Or tortured for information."

"What?!"

"Especially since you've been here a long time. You know too much about the organization and who knows what you could have _already_ told the aliens. They'll make sure to silence you. Being a traitor to the organization is a serious offense."

Without realizing it, Sam had been moving her hand closer to her face as the agent talked. She began chewing on her nails. She didn't reply.

"You can still study the alien, just don't talk about it until you have such solid proof that no one can call you a liar. That's what the transmission said: The one working with the aliens will be lying about the aliens."

Sam nodded, still silent, still biting her nails.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Agent Darkbootie smiled and said, "so, Agent Joker? I like that. Let's register him as such."

* * *

><p>The full moon hung above the sleeping city, it's glow illuminating the darkness around it and lighting the way for whoever happened to be out on the streets at such a late hour. That "whoever" was Invader Zim. He was dressed in all black to stay unseen in the dark streets. His black jacket drove off the chilly midnight air and in his arms was a folded up black sheet. All the streetlights for the entire neighborhood were broken, whether by old age or by Zim's own hand, and the houses' windows were dark, allowing Zim to walk, invisible, towards the Membranes' home.<p>

Upon arriving at the house's front yard, Zim wrapped the black bedsheet around him much like Gaz did on the day she tried to take a picture of him without his disguise. Zim did some research and, thought he hated to admit it, the Earth girl was right. Sheets DO block out the motion detectors.

Zim snuck to the backyard, gazing up at the house's second story, and used the moonlight to locate the windows. He didn't dare use a flashlight for fear someone would still be awake. He counted two windows, then stopped under the third. His PAK opened up and eight metal spider legs lifted him into the air, getting longer and longer until he was level with the window. He slid his fingers under and pushed. The window was unlocked. This kid was just _begging_ to get hurt, wasn't he?

When no alarm sounded, Zim crawled onto the window sill and retracted the spider legs. Once inside, he let the bedsheet fall.

The door to the room was slightly ajar, but there was no light on the other side. The only light source in the room was from the dim glow of Dib's laptop, which lay open on the desk next to his headset. Zim gave it a quick glance and saw a wikipedia page about aliens opened on the screen. Using the light, Zim located the human.

Dib lay curled up on the bed, nestled deep in the blankets, breathing deeply. Zim took a step and the boy didn't stir. Zim walked slowly towards the sleeping figure in a half-crouch, keeping his breathing deep and quiet.

His plan was to break Dib's arm. Zim did research on various human injuries and a broken bone was the most non-lethal way he found that could keep someone down for the longest time. A broken arm could take months to heal and Zim, unfamiliar with medical procedures, assumed that meant Dib would be in the hospital for months.

No one will believe Dib when he says an alien boy from school snuck into his house and broke his arm. They'll think he had a nightmare, fell out of bed, and broke his arm upon landing. Dib will be out of the way and Zim will be elected leaders' leader. Alls well that ends well.

Zim finally made it to the boy's bedside. He waited for a few seconds to make sure he was still sleeping, then grabbed hold of the blankets. He moved them ever so slightly, then, when there was no reaction, moved them further down until Dib's arm was exposed. _One quick break, then get out. A simple broken bone. Fast before he wakes up the other people in the house. _Zim gently took hold of the sleeping boy's arm.

And was immediately tackled from the side.

The two forms fell to the ground with a thud so loud Zim feared the whole neighborhood would wake up. He opened his mouth to shout at the assailant, but a hand clamped over his mouth and cut him off. Before he knew it, he was being dragged out of Dib's room. Zim struggled, but he was only gripped harder. Miraculously, Dib remained asleep.

Zim was dropped in the hallway, Dib's door was closed, and the hall light was turned on. Zim, still on his back, sneered and faced his attacker.

It was Gaz, dressed in her purple and black night gown. She had her boots on and she kicked Zim very hard in the side.

"What were you doing in my brother's room?" She hissed, quiet enough not to wake anyone, but loud enough to get her anger across to the alien on the floor.

"It's none of your concern, Earth girl! Go back to your room and dream of ponies or whatever it is you human females dream of. Chocolate! Go dream about chocolate!"

Gaz fell on Zim, driving her knee into his stomach and knocking the wind out of him. She grabbed his neck, pulled him close, and snarled, "it _is_ my business when you threaten my brother and so help me if you harmed him in any way-"

"I didn't touch him!" Zim wheezed, trying to pry Gaz's hands from his neck. "Go check if you don't believe me!"

Gaz dropped the alien and crawled off of him. She stood up and Zim rolled to his hands and knees, trying to catch his breath.

"What were you _going_ to do, then?" Gaz said, voice dark.

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because if you don't, I'll scream and wake up the whole block. Dib doesn't have to expose you as an alien in order for you to be locked up for a _very_ long time. We're looking at breaking and entering charges, assault charges, attempted murder charges, and, if you decide to make things any more difficult for me, rape charges."

"What?! I never-"

"Who're they going to believe, Zim? The sweet, innocent little girl of one of the most respected scientists in the world or a breaking and entering skin-condition boy?"

Zim glared at her and Gaz glared right back. Her eyes didn't waver and Zim knew she meant every word.

"I was going to break his arm," Zim confessed. "To put him in the hospital for at least a week and to keep him out of my way."

"A broken arm doesn't put a person in the hospital longer than a day. They just cast it and send you home."

"Are you serious?"

Gaz nodded. "Unless..."

"What?"

Gaz took a deep breath. "Unless a doctor is bribed into saying that they have to keep an eye on the arm in case of complications."

"Are you-"

"If Dib's in the hospital, he'll be out of danger, won't he? He can't go chasing down dwarves or elves or large raccoons when he's stuck in a hospital, right? He'll be safe."

Zim slowly got to his feet and stared, confused, at Dib's sister. "You mean...?"

Gaz nodded. "Break it."


	9. Chapter 10

Zim couldn't believe what he was reading. He read it, re-read it, and read it some more until he practically had the note memorized. There was no way it could be true. _How did they know_?! They couldn't have. It was impossible. Zim took every precaution, every protective measure to make sure he was not found out by Dib's branch. It just couldn't be!

And yet, there it was.

There is a traitor in the organization. He knows too much about aliens. He is lying. Remain calm. Don't panic. If you have any information...Zim let out a frustrated yowl and slammed his fists on the desk.

But wait.

Zim hadn't said two words about aliens. He hadn't said two words about anything, really. How could they pin this on him? He doesn't match the description. The _Dib-Brat_ matched it better than he did with the way he was always harping about aliens. Maybe there was hope.

There was a knock on the door.

Then again, maybe not.

Gir, in his dog disguise, squealed and waddled towards the door, always happy to have visitors. Zim raced over and shoved the little robot aside, sending him flying into the wall. Gir slid down and fell behind the couch. Zim peered through the door's looking hole and saw Agent Dreamcatcher standing on the porch. She was alone, so Zim relaxed a little.

But only a little.

He opened the door and before she could speak, said, "I haven't said two words about aliens."

"You haven't said two words much about anything, really," Sam replied. "Except for the Bigfoot prank, but I don't think that counts. We need to change that if you're to be elected leaders' leader. Being popular isn't enough."

"Lies!" he shouted. "Why are you here?"

"I thought we could walk to school together. I have an idea that could help you."

Out of the corner of his eye, Zim saw Gir crawl out from behind the couch. The _last_ thing he needed right now was for her to see a talking dog. Zim stepped out and closed the door behind him. "Fine, whatever."

"Great!" They walked down the path and turned on to the sidewalk. "You remember that alien kid I'm watching, right? Zeke? Well, I was thinking that we can watch him together. We'll gather information on him, then present our findings on voting day when you make your big speech." Zim gave her a look that screamed the questioning of her seriousness. "What?"

"Did you check your email this morning?" Zim asked.

"Yes."

"And did you know there is an alien-talking traitor in the Swollen Eyeballs?"

"Yes," Sam replied, a little irritated.

"And you want me to get up in front of everyone on voting day and talk alien?"

"But you won't be lying! We'll have proof to show you're not lying so they can't accuse you of working with the aliens because you're not lying!"

"I don't think so."

"It's either talk alien, throw the competition, or miraculously find another paranormal thing to present. And, trust me, no amount of large raccoons will fool these guys. You have to think about it, there are _branch leaders_ that are going to be running for leaders' leader, people with experience! People everyone knows! You have to come off as better than them!"

Zim thought about it. He had proof, alright. He had a base full of proof. And who knew better about the Irken race than he did? The Tallests wouldn't be too happy with him if he talked about Irk, but what choice did he have? He couldn't lie or they'd mark him as a traitor. All be had to do was pin some Irken technology on this Zeke boy and he was home free. Maybe a few altered photos will help. Who cares if the humans knew about Irk as long as they were under Zim's control?

"Alright, I have been convinced! I will watch the alien."

"Perfect!"

"But we won't get much out of him during school hours. Tell you what, you follow him at school, and I'll follow him when he's home."

"Do you want me to help watch him after-"

"_Help_?! I don't need help! Zim _never_ needs help!"

"Ok, ok, fine then. After school, he's yours. Sheesh."

* * *

><p>Zim had been smart for once. He had broken Dib's right arm. Whether it was on purpose or coincidence, Zim made sure Dib wouldn't be able to function properly. Gaz sat in the hospital room, Dib's laptop opened in front of her, half-listening to the doctor talk to Professor Membrane. Gaz had to give him credit. He was a great liar. He was telling their father some junk about how a shard of bone may have snapped off and inserted itself into Dib's muscle. They could have an x-ray scheduled for the end of the week since it appeared to be causing the boy no harm, however, they still had to keep him there to make sure it stays that way.<p>

"You know, even with your main arm broken, you're still only slightly more useless than you were before. I think that says something about how useless you _always_ are," Gaz sneered.

"I got you out of school for the day," Dib replied, ever the optimist. "You're welcome."

Gaz still remembered the sickening crack she heard the night before as she waited outside Dib's door. She probably should have followed Zim inside to make sure he didn't do anything else to him, but she couldn't risk getting seen by her brother. A loud cry had followed after the crack and then a thumping noise as Dib either fell out of bed or was dragged out by the alien. Gaz had counted to five silently under her breath, then ran to get her dad. By then, Zim had long since jumped out the window.

Gaz had Dib's laptop since she forgot her video game at home in the confusion and Dib wouldn't be able to use the computer anyway.

"Can you at least let me check my email? I want to make sure I'm not missing anything."

"If it'll make you shut up faster!" Gaz snapped, happy to help. "You're lucky there are cameras here or I would destroy you."

Gaz typed in Dib's username and password since he would take too long if he did it himself. It's surprisingly difficult to operate a computer with only your secondary hand.

"Anything new?" he asked.

"Just some voting list," Gaz said. "Seven names. Agent Grayscale, Agent Threefifths, Agent Joker, Agent..." Gaz continued reading off the names to her brother.

Dib was pleasantly surprised to hear Agent Tunaghost's name on the ballot. "I hope I'll be out by voting day," Dib said. "Is there anything else?"

Gaz opened up the next unread message and skimmed the note. _A traitor in the organization? Is this what Zim's been planning?_ She wondered. She debated whether or not to tell Dib, then decide against it. It would only upset him and cause him to do something stupid. Besides, Zim failed at every plan he's ever tried before. Why would this time be any different?

"That's it," Gaz said, trashing the email. "Now shut up and let me play my game. I could've gotten a high score by now."


	10. Chapter 11

The school bell rang and the children stumbled over themselves in their haste to get out of class. Zim waited patiently by the front porch for Zeke to finally make it out, but was first met with Agent Dreamcatcher.

"Was Dib here today?" she asked. "I didn't see him on the playground."

"No. The stupid ear-" he stopped himself just in time, "-kid broke his arm. The Dib-stink will be out all week." Zim couldn't help but flash a smug little smirk. Dreamcatcher was too busy looking for Zeke to notice.

"Ok, there he is," she said as the school door opened. "Good luck and remember to be sneaky!"

"For your information, I am very skilled in the art of sneak. I will be so sneak that the picture in the dictionary for sneak will be blank because I was too sneak for them to get a picture of me. Now, leave!"

Dreamcatcher shrugged and left. Once she was gone, Zim walked right over to Zeke with a big smile. "Hello, fellow Earth friend!"

Zeke gave Zim a dark look. _Oh, right. I'm not popular at school_.

"Zeke, was it?"

"What do you want?"

"As you know, I am from a different part of Earth. Still on Earth, of course, but a different part. And as it is a different place, there are different traditions where-"

Zeke shoved Zim down the stairs and kept walking. Zim got up and dusted himself off, glaring at the human. _No mercy_.

"I'll get to the point." Zim ran ahead of him and blocked his way. "Tradition states that I give this to you."

Zim pulled a palm-sized, blue and black cube from his PAK and held it out to Zeke. It had tiny little levers on it and a row of buttons on the side that lit up when they were pressed.

"What is it?"

"A puzzle cube," Zim said. "You try to solve the puzzle and when you do, it opens up."

It was an Irken smeet plaything, but it was flashy and unnecessarily complicated looking. It was designed to keep the smeet entertained for hours with all the gizmos, chips, buttons, and levers, especially when it was finally opened. Here on Earth, it looked as alien as a high budget sci-fi movie prop. Perfect for evidence.

"I hate puzzles," Zeke said.

"It's really easy. Just press the buttons until every other one is lit up."

"I don't want it." Zeke pushed past Zim and kept walking.

"It's full of candy!" Zim called.

Zeke ignored him. Zim thought for a moment, then trotted after him. "You know, you're right. Your inferior brain would never be able to solve such a difficult puzzle, even after I told you how."

"What did you say?" Zeke snarled, hands balling into fists.

_It's for the greater good. It's for the greater good. It's for the greater good_... "I said the truth. Besides, I really like this puzzle and it would be better in my care. In fact, you can't have it any more than you can solve it."

Zim woke up several hours later in a trash can with a massive headache. The cube was gone and the only explanation was that Zeke took it. _Flawless victory_, Zim thought as he crawled out of the trash can. It fell over with him only halfway out and he landed painfully on the ground.

_It would be worth it if they named his dissection after me_, he thought bitterly. _Oh no, gross. I'm starting to sound like Dib._

Zim staggered to his feet and limped home to get his camera. It was already getting dark, so he wouldn't have to wait long before setting off in his black clothes to Zeke's house.

* * *

><p>Gaz had just barely saved the game when the page closed and the screen went dark. A few seconds later, it cleared to show a black silhouette of a man.<p>

"Agent Mothman?" he asked.

Gaz had her headphones in, so Dib didn't hear. Gaz quickly left for the lobby, taking the laptop with her. Dib asked where she was going, but she was already out the door. She settled herself in the corner of the lobby, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, and muttered into the microphone.

"Talking to Dib is out of the question for the next week, so whatever stupid, dangerous, horrible wild goose chase you want to send him on will have to wait."

"Next week? Where is he?"

"Hospital. Broken arm."

"A whole week for a broken arm?"

"It was bad. Was there something you wanted?"

"How'd he break it?"

Gaz sighed, irritated. "Someone else broke it. Came into his room when he was sleeping. Look, I got to go. Don't call back." Gaz slammed the laptop shut, then returned to her brother's room.

"What was that about?" Dib asked.

"Quit being nosy. It's none of your business."_ Not until the end of the week, anyway_.

* * *

><p><em>A broken arm? <em>Agent DarkBootie leaned back in his chair. _Who would do that? Sure, the boy gets picked on a lot, but no one would go so far as to break his arm while he was sleeping unless..._

Unless they thought he was a traitor. It's simple. A certain someone thinks it's him, a certain someone goes to turn him in, without proof that certain someone is turned away and the someone gets frustrated enough to want to hurt him. But that's silly. No one in Mothman's branch would ever do that to him and the only person outside the branch that knew where Dib lived was Agent Penname. Penname wouldn't do that. They're best friends.

Or, at least they were. Agent Darkbootie remembered the day of the potluck like it was yesterday. He was listening to Bespectacled tell him, a few leaders, a few agents, and the leaders' leaders about his retirement plans. Bespectacled was most excited about telling the young grandchildren mystical tales of his adventures with the Swollen Eyeballs when they were old enough to be told stories and he hoped the children would someday find the organization and follow in his footsteps. That was when Agent Penname came over and told them about the transmission. He seemed pretty calm about it, but he hadn't been there for the fairy traitor, so that was to be expected. But what was it that Ricky said after he told them about the anonymous tip?

_"You don't think it could be Agent Mothman, do you?"_

That was it. He sounded more concerned than accusatory. He had looked directly at Darkbootie when he said that, seeing as no one else in the group would know who Mothman was. The kids were suppose to be best friends, and yet...

"Agent Penname?" Agent Darkbootie said over the transmission screen. "I want to have a talk with you about Agent Mothman's broken arm."

"His arm's broken?" Ricky asked somewhat smugly as if the news pleased him. "Sure, what about it?"

"It appears someone broke into his house recently and attacked him while he was sleeping. What do you think about that?"

"I think it serves the little traitor right."

"Traitor? You think Mothman's the traitor?"

"Who else would it be? I didn't like it at first, I even denied it, but it makes the most sense. He can't produce pictures, yet he somehow knows aliens are green with red eyes and antennae. No body, but he swears that aliens die if something called a PAK comes off them. What did the anonymous tipper say? The traitor will be lying about looks and weaknesses to make us unprepared? Dib's already done both. And what about all those times he had the opportunity to share the alien with us? An entire conference was called for him, but he '"forgot" the briefcase supposedly full of information in the alley by his dad's lab? Really?"

"So, you admit it then?"

"Admit what?"

"You were the one who broke his arm."

Ricky gave Agent Darkbootie an exasperated look. "After all this, you're _still _going to defend him?"

"He's as loyal as loyal comes, Penname."

"I didn't break his arm, but when you find the one who did, thank him for me."

"Who said it was a him?"

"Goodbye, Agent Darkbootie."

Ricky hung up, then sat back, angrily drumming his fingers against the top of the desk. Just who did this guy think he is accusing him like that? Just because Ricky thought Dib was the traitor doesn't give Dark the right to blame him for every little thing that happened to the kid. The nerve! Just jump to conclusions, why don't you Darky old pal!

Indignation forcing his hand, Penname called Darkbootie back.

"You know," he said once the older man answered, "like most people with a suspicion, I was going to keep my theory to myself seeing as I had no proof, but our little conversation has convinced me that maybe I should spread word around about Mothman being the perfect suspect."

"It won't mean a thing if you don't have proof that he's the traitor."

"It doesn't matter to me so long as he gets a few more broken bones out of it." Ricky shut off the transmission.

* * *

><p>Once Penname hung up, a thought occurred to him. Dib only talks alien to his own branch and to Penname. No other branch even knows he studies them. The boy's invisible to the majority! Ricky leaned forward, biting his nails and trying to think of a plan. He could ask Dib about aliens and record the conversation. He could tell people Dib's been trying to stuff alien "knowledge" down his throat for the last few weeks and use the recorded conversation to prove the lie.<p>

It was amazing how quickly he had turned on his friend, but this was less about hurting Dib and more about hurting Dib to hurt Darkbootie. _Besides, Dib is a traitor. Why should I care what happens to him?_

"Dib?" Penname asked.

"Dib's out for the week," Gaz snarled as she scrambled for her headphones.

Too late, Dib heard his ex-friend's voice.

"Gaz, hand it over. It's Ricky!" Dib said, reaching for the laptop.

The laptop exchanged hands and Mothman smiled at Penname. _Oh right, Dib doesn't know I hate him now. Good!_

"Dib, I'm doing a school report on aliens. What can you tell me about them?" Ricky clicked record and watched his plan unfold.

Having never met dib, or at least knowing very little about him due to limited contact, many of the branches ignored Ricky's suspicion despite the "proof" presented to them. They didn't think the recorded conversations were even _close _to being enough to constitute as evidence and responded by telling him that many Swollen Eyeball members talked about aliens without having proof of them. However, Ricky's own branch (a close sister branch to Dib's, yet not close enough a warrant a red lanyard), was up in arms.

Ricky's branch had been invited to the conference that happened so long ago about Dib's findings on an alien. They didn't know much about Mothman, but could tell he was serious about his studies when he agreed to get up there in front of all the red threads and a few branches of other colors. They learned nothing that day, seeing as Dib lost the briefcase, and all of the branches invited soon forgot about the boy. All except Penname's branch because Ricky, wanting to stand up for his friend, wouldn't let them forget. "It was his first presentation," "It's not his fault he lost it," "I'm sure there was really solid evidence about aliens in that briefcase," "He'll just have to try again," was all his branch ever heard from the boy for the next week and a half. By the time he stopped mentioning it, all the other branches had forgotten about Dib's failed alien presentation. For Ricky's branch, it was forever engraved in their minds.

So, naturally, when word of an alien-talking traitor broke loose, Ricky's purple branch was quick and alone to look to Agent Mothman.

They had been passing hints to DarkBootie and Tunaghost to watch Mothman and even went so far as to ask questions about him, but they never did anything that would cause offense to the red lanyards. But when Ricky produced the "evidence", the branch took it and ran despite all logic. With Ricky's serious backing, things were getting more and more heated between the two branches as the days passed. The members argued and debated for hours on end. Red swore Dib was innocent, Purple swore Dib was guilty.

The other two red lanyard branches tried to remain neutral, though they subtly sided with Dib's branch. The other two purple lanyard branches did the same, siding with Penname. All the other colored branches, feeling the rising tension, stayed away.

When talking to a red or purple branch, other colors did their best to steer clear from the traitor topic. If they did end up there, the topic was quickly changed. "Wait for proof," they'd say if the purple or red lanyard persisted. "Don't say a word until proof."

Halfway through the week, the heat died down to a purple and red cold war, though neither sides had bombs.

* * *

><p>AN I wrote myself into a corner! I messed up! I messed up! I messed up! Hopefully, crisis averted, but not well enough. I was thinking when I wrote this, "wait, if Dib never tells anyone outside his branch about Zim, why would the purple branch think it's him?" **OH NO. **uhhh, uhhh, because they were there for the conference so they know he's serious about spreading word about aliens to everyone while at the same time he's never told the purple branch about Zim because he didn't have his briefcase with him at the conference! Yes, that's it! *Headdesk* I guess I could've cut the entire Purple VS. Red part out, but then the big climax will be hollowed out to almost nothing. *Sigh* Please be merciful fanfiction readers. Also, in case you didn't know, the conference I'm referring to is the one in the episode "Battle Dib".


	11. Chapter 12

"What are you doing?" Gir chirped.

"It's called photoshopping, Gir. I'm altering a picture to make it seem like Zeke is an alien."

Zim had gathered plenty of pictures of Zeke with various pieces of Irken technology. He even got a good one of Zeke aiming an unloaded laser gun at something out of frame. Still, Zim wanted his presentation to be air-tight and he couldn't have that unless he had Zeke looking like an alien. So, Zim photoshopped his own eyes onto Zeke's face, but changed the color to orange rather than magenta. He also tinted Zeke's skin blue and pasted his own antennas over Zeke's hair. Zim didn't want any of this to come back to bite him, so he made Zeke look as different from himself as he possibly could while still making it look realistic. The Swollen Eyeballs were probably use to altered photos, so color changing was the furthest he was going with it. No tentacles, no wings, no fangs, just Zim's parts shopped onto Zeke.

_Just a few more days_, Zim thought, adding the finished picture to his collection. _A few more days until millions will be under my control_.

The computer dinged and a page opened up. Gir squealed and giggled at the noise while Zim read the note that had appeared.

"What's that?" Gir asked.

"It's-"

"What's that?"

"It's-"

"What's that?"

Zim stared at the robot. Gir stared back, quiet and patient and with his tongue sticking out. He looked expectant.

"It's-"

"What's-"

"A message from the Swollen Eyeballs! Alright?"

"Oh. Why didn't you say so?" Gir looked back to the screen. "What's that?"

"It's an invitation to the Swollen Eyeball's American headquarters. Their main base! Gir, do you know what this means?"

"We're not in Britain?"

"It means that on Saturday, I will be presenting my work to every branch in the United States!"

"I want to be in Britain."

"Look, it even says that the members who won't be able to attend in person can live stream it on their computers! I'll finally get the recognition I so much deserve! It will make ruling them all the more better."

"Won't Mary be able to see it on live stream?"

"By the time the Dib-Monkey will be able to do anything about it, I will already have been voted in. Anyway, I might be able to sneak around the headquarters and find out their secrets."

"What secrets?"

"Quiet, Gir!"

"Incoming..." The computer's robotic voice said just as the printer began clicking and beeping. "Printing..."

A small piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Zim scooped it up and examined it. "A plane ticket to Hawaii. That must be where the headquarters is located!"

"Can I come?" Gir asked sadly.

"Oh why not. I'll just tell everyone you're Zeke's robot and I stole you off of him. The more evidence the better."

"I GONNA GET PACKED!" Gir squealed.

"We still have three days, Gir."

"Warning," the computer said. "Proximity warning. Intruder alert. Someone is at the door." The computer screen flashed to show Agent Dreamcatcher, wearing her backpack, standing by the door with her arms crossed.

Zim quickly left the lab and got to the door.

"Just where have you been?" Sam demanded.

"Since you were following Zeke at school, I thought I could take a few days off."

"I'm not talking about school! I'm talking about the Swollen Eyeballs! All the other leaders' leader candidates have been putting themselves out there! Doing Q and As, making speeches, telling people why they deserve to be voted for and all that. _You_ haven't done a thing! It doesn't matter how much of my findings you pack into your speech if you don't keep up appearances!"

"Don't you mean _our_ findings?"

"Sure, whatever. Now, come on. We need to tell people how awesome you are so they'll vote for you!" Agent Dreamcatcher pushed past Zim and looked around the room, smiling with her hands on her hips. "Wow, this place is a hovel. Where's your computer?"

"Why?"

"Because we're going to record a video speech and send it out to win over our audience. I've already wrote up some notes." Sam happily pulled a stack of folded papers out from her backpack. "I've got things you're striving for, things you'll change to make the Swollen Eyeballs better, why you deserve to completely _obliterate_ the competition, and what good things you can bring to the organization. Just the usual stuff."

"And we'll be sending it to...?"

"Every member of the Swollen Eyeballs, of course."

"And by every member you mean-"

"_Every _member. But don't worry, we have translated subtitles for members in other countries."

Zim's thoughts flashed to Dib. "I don't think I should. I don't want to focus too much on little speeches when I should be focusing on my _big_ speech. And the presentation."

"'If you're camera shy-"

"Shy? Zim is not shy!"

"You can just send it in a written form," she finished. "We'll tell everyone you're the new guy they've all been hearing about and sign your codename at the bottom of it."

"I have a codename?"

"I picked it out! Agent Joker. You like?"

"Of all the stupid names!"

"Calm down, it suits you! Besides, I already registered you as such. Anyway, I have the notes for the speech we'll send out."

"Then write it for me," Zim said.

"I can't do everything for you," Sam said, already piecing the e-speech together in her mind, "but this time, I guess I can.

"But don't use my real name."

"How come?"

"I, uh, want people to know me by my codename. You know, it'll make me seem more serious about the Swollen Eyeballs."

"Great idea!"

"Good, now get out." Zim pushed her out and closed the door behind her. _Humans_.

As he walked back to his lab, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He had his wig on, but not his contacts. His eyes were very large and very magenta and he had no idea how Sam could have missed it. She must have _really _been lost in her thoughts. Zim briefly wondered what could have been clouding her mind so much that she didn't notice a pair of alien eyes, but then remembered that he didn't really care.

"But dad! Voting Day is a once in a lifetime chance! Who knows when another leaders' leader will leave! I _have_ to go!"

Professor Membrane was clear across town in his laboratory testing some medicines on a group of rats. He talked with his son through a floating computer screen while he worked. "Now, now, son. The doctor said you can't leave until the X-Ray scheduled on Saturday."

"Can't they schedule it any sooner? I might never have another chance to go to the headquarters! I've been _dreaming_ of going there ever since I first joined!"

One of the rats exploded off screen. Professor Membrane wiped the gunk off his face and said, "sorry, Son. I have to go." The screen went black.

Dib closed the laptop and groaned. Gaz laughed in response. She had been using her brother as an excuse to get out of school for the last few days and she was enjoying every minute of it. His non-lethal suffering was just making it even better for her.

"It's not fair!" Dib said. "They don't even know if the shard is there or not and my arm feels fine! Well, as fine as a broken arm _can_ feel, anyway." He looked sadly down at the sling.

"You're doing that thing I hate again," Gaz said, playing her video game. "You know, talking. You're talking."

"I have the plane tickets right here and dad will be busy in his lab for the foreseeable future. Maybe he won't notice if I went anyway."

"I'll tell."

"You can come. they gave me two tickets. One for me and one for my legal guardian. Since dad can't come..."

"No."

"It's Hawaii! Everyone wants to visit there!"

"Too much sun."

"I'll do your chores for a week."

"No."

"Then what do you want?"

"Nothing."

"What if I let you choose where we go for the next family dinner night?"

"No."

"The next four?"

Gaz sighed. Knowing her brother, he'd just sneak out and go on his own if she kept refusing. Besides, his offers were getting tempting.

"The next twelve and you do my chores for a month," Gaz said.

"Deal!"

Gaz sighed again. _Hopefully whatever Zim's planning won't happen on Voting Day._


	12. Chapter 13

A/N: I just wanted to have fun with this chapter before things got serious. Also, sorry for the long wait! Writer's block! Also, in case you're wondering, I'm a ZaGr girl and a TaDr tot!

* * *

><p>Everything Zim was planning will happen on Voting Day. It was Friday, one day before the big day, and Zim and Sam had just arrived in Hawaii. They were currently waiting in a long line in one of Hawaii's most luxurious hotels. Sam had checked her messages when they landed, and found that a reservation had been made in Zim and Sam's name. The Swollen Eyeballs thought of everything!<p>

Sam was obviously excited. "If we get a bunk bed, I call the top bunk! If we get two separate ones, I call the one on the right! If we get connecting rooms, I call the one with the cleanest window! How many people here do you think are in the Swollen Eyeballs? I don't see anyone from our branch. I know there are a lot of hotels and some people choose to stay with relatives or something, but still, I thought I would recognize _someone_. I wonder if they're thinking the same thing. Maybe I should wear my lanyard and-"

_She just won't shut up_! Zim clenched his teeth. He had been hiding his face behind a magazine ever since they got there in case of sudden red thread. _She's just as bad as Gir_!

The little robot was currently tied up in Zim's backpack with multiple strips of duct tape over his mouth. _Nothing_ can go wrong. Not today, not tomorrow.

And there was no way he was letting a human get top bunk.

The line moved fast and finally they made it to the reception table. Sam gave the man behind the counter their names and in return, they were given a card key.

"Are you with the Swollen Eyeballs as well?" the receptionist asked.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It seems like every hotel in Hawaii is filled with them. I think we only have two people staying here who aren't members."

"So everyone here..." Sam turned and watched the swarm of people mill around the lobby.

"All Eyeballs." He smiled at them. "Have a nice day."

"This is crazy," Sam, in awe, said to Zim.

"I thought the Swollen Eyeballs were a _secret_ organization."

"It is, but people find out anyway. Let's go find our room!"

The two took the elevator to the third floor and searched for room 1073. When they found it, Dreamcatcher slid the card through the scanner and the door unlocked. The room was huge. A window that took up a good portion of the wall was directly in front of the two guests. Through it, they could see a nearby, busy beach. A big screen TV hung on the wall in front of a long, white couch complete with throw pillows. There was a coffee table in the middle of the room with a vase full of flowers for a centerpiece. There were two double beds on opposite sides of the room with red canopies above them. Paintings were on every wall and a bookshelf was nestled in the corner.

"I changed my mind," Sam said, looking around the room. "I call the bed closest to the window."

Both beds were of equal distance from the window, but that didn't stop them from racing to the bed on the left and fighting for it.

"I invite you to the Swollen Eyeballs! The bed's _mine_!" Sam snarled, shoving Zim aside with her foot and crawling on the bed to claim it.

"_I'm_ the one who got the most information on Zeke! It's _mine_!" Zim yanked her off and took her spot.

"_I'm_ the one who told you about Zeke in the first place!" Sam took a pillow off the couch and raised it over her head like a weapon. "_I_ get it!"

Zim took a pillow from the bed and got ready to fight. "_I'm_ the one who's going to be leaders' leader!"

Before they could start the pillow fight of the century, the door opened and two brunette twin girls, both wearing blue lanyards, poked their heads in the room.

"Agent Dreamcatcher?" One asked.

"Jaz! Kay! Hi!" Sam dropped the pillow and ran over to hug her friends.

Zim, who only wanted the bed on the left because Sam wanted it, got up and moved to the one on the right. The left one got messy in the struggle, anyway.

"How'd you know I was in this hotel?" Dreamcatcher asked.

"We asked to be put in the same room," Kay said (or was it Jaz? They looked exactly alike), "but the best they could do was put us in the same hotel."

"You can stay with us!" Sam offered.

Zim called from his spot on the bed, "no! One filthy, bed-stealing dirt-child is enough!"

"Meet Agent Joker," Sam said.

"The leaders' leaders assigned all of us rooms based on who we happened to communicate with last. Some wanted to be assigned with their friends, but weren't, so now people are switching rooms. We were thinking that you should come with us to _our_ room. We're camping out with Agent Cheeseball, Agent Rockshooter, and Agent Tinyhorse. The left-behind roommates are switching around rooms and finding their friends, too. Some don't have friends staying in this hotel, but they switch just for fun or because a room needs to be filled. It's like a game of white elephant for rooms!"

"Joker, do you want to play?" Sam turned and smiled at the alien.

"No."

"You don't have a choice now, because I'm going with them." Sam waved and quickly left the room with the twins following behind, giggling.

In the following hour, Zim switched rooms four times. The first time was when a boy came to take Sam's place. The boy was found by his two friends and Zim was switched out to room with a mother and her baby. Zim, hating kids, switched rooms with another mother and her three-year-old and stayed with a young teenager. The teenager was taken to fill the empty room of the three-year-old's mother and two girls took his place. Zim was switched out once more when one of the girls refused to share a room with a boy.

Miraculously, Zim only ran into one red lanyard, but switched out before he was noticed.

The room-switching game appeared to get bigger and bigger as the other members of the Swollen Eyeballs staying in the hotel joined in, which meant that only two rooms weren't participating. Apparently, everyone in the Swollen Eyeballs had a ridiculous amount of trust in everyone else in the organization and had no problem with temporarily sharing a room with a complete stranger. When they found who they were looking for, or if they decided they no longer wanted to play, the room would get "locked" and no more switches would be made in that room.

The door opened and another agent came in. "One of you leave," he said. "A room two doors down needs another occupant."

Zim sighed and stood up.

* * *

><p>Gaz didn't even look up from her game when her brother was switched out. He said he was going to search for Agent Penname or Agent Darkbootie, or possibly Tunaghost if he couldn't find the other two. Neither of them knew if they were even in the same hotel, but Dib planned to switch until he found out. The boy who switched with Dib left to stay with his friend and his girlfriend, leaving Gaz without a roommate for a while. She didn't care. Someone else from a more crowded room would come eventually.<p>

She still didn't look up when the door opened to reveal her brother's replacement. At least, she didn't look up until a familiar voice yelled, "what are _you_ doing here?"

Gaz dropped her game. "I came in Dib's place," she blurted without thinking. She didn't take it back. If she told him Dib was here, he'd probably break Dib's other arm and then _hers_ for letting Dib out of the hospital. Then, they'd both get caught by their dad when he gets a call about his children's broken arms and then Gaz will get busted for bribing a doctor. "What are _you_ doing here? You better not have some stupid world domination plan for tomorrow!" _because Dib will be there_, she added in her mind.

"Of course not!" Zim lied. "I'm only here because I want to hear the candidates speeches!" If Gaz knew Zim was running, she'd probably expose him and ruin everything.

"Good."

"Good."

The door opened up and a blonde girl with curly hair stepped inside. "Are you switching ro-"

_I can't risk him getting roomed with Dib! He'll find out my brother is here!_

_I can't risk her getting roomed with Sam! She'll find out what I'm planning!_

"This room is locked!" Zim and Gaz both shouted.

The blonde girl disappeared.

Gaz and Zim turned to glare at each other. "You better not be lying!" They snarled in unison.

"Let's get one thing straight, pig-smelly," Zim said. "I get the bed on the left, so that means you have to move."

Gaz gave him a look so icy that Zim stumbled backwards into the bed on the right and stayed there. "I meant the one on the right. Yes. Glad you agree."

Both of them looked away from each other. _This is going to be a long weekend_, they thought.

* * *

><p>After the 25th switch, Dib gave up the search for his friends and locked the room he was currently sharing with a man in his early 20s.<p>

"Just as well," the man said, finally unpacking. "I was starting to wonder if I'd _ever_ be able to unpack. Do you need help?"

"I got it." Dib opened the bag with his good arm. "Oh, no."

"What?"

"This isn't mine. I must've took the wrong one during the switching."

"How many times did you switch?"

"About 25 times."

"_Now_ do you need help?" The man asked with a smirk.

Dib sighed. "Yes, please."

The two boys split up and went door-to-door around the hotel, asking if anyone lost their bag. Along the way, they found Dib's pack, which a different person grabbed by mistake, but couldn't find the owner of the one on their hands.

"Excuse me," Dib opened the next room's door. "Did any of you- Oh, hey Gaz!"

Gaz dropped her game and jumped to her feet like she had just been caught killing someone. She looked to the bathroom door. She ran over to it just as it was opening and threw herself against it, knocking whoever was behind it down to the floor.

"What do you want?" Gaz demanded, leaning against the door.

"Did your roommate lose a-"

"No! Leave me alone! Your face is making me sick!"

Dib left and Gaz relaxed.

"Wretched worm-baby!" Zim shoved himself against the door and Gaz flew forward. "Don't _ever_ trap Zim in a disgusting little room again!"

Gaz growled and stood up. She took the vase full of flowers from the table and dumped the water inside on Zim. As he ran around the room screaming, Gaz settled herself on the couch and continued playing her video game.


	13. Chapter 14

Saturday. The day they have been waiting for. The day they have been dreaming of. The day the candidates will give their speeches. The day a new leaders' leader will be elected. The day Zim will stand before all of an organization that should be his sworn enemy.

Zim wasn't the least bit worried. His ego got the better of his nerves and he grinned proudly to himself as he sat on his bed and skimmed through his speech notes. Suddenly, something hard and cold hit him from behind. Zim turned and saw Gir, without his disguise, beaming happily at Zim.

"Keep your robot on _your_ side of the room!" Gaz yelled.

Zim was about to make a snarky retort, but stopped himself. "By any chance, are you going to hear the candidates' speeches today?"

"Yeah, why?"

Why didn't he think of this before? Of course Gaz and a lot of red threads will be in the audience today. Zim wasn't worried about Dib and the red threads that would be watching from far away because he'd be ruler by the time they could do anything about it. But the ones attending in person could run on stage and grab him. How many of them would recognize Zim? Would Gaz even care enough about him running for leaders' leader to do anything about it? It was hard imagining Gaz caring about _anything_ other than her game. Even her caring about her flesh-and-blood brother was weird and unusual for her. Still, he couldn't just risk something like this! Nothing can go wrong today! There had to be some way he could cover his face while at the same time not draw too much attention to the fact that he's trying to remain hidden.

The hotel room's phone rang and Zim picked it up. He'll have to think of something later.

"Hello?"

"Is Agent Joker there?" Sam's tired voice asked as if she had given up on finding him long ago.

"Dreamcatcher?"

"Zim?" Her voice suddenly perked up. "I'm so glad I found you! Switching rooms was a stupid idea! No one can find anyone now! I've been calling random rooms for the past hour for you! Are you ready for today?"

"Of course! Zim is ready for any task!"

"Are you nervous?"

"I laugh at such a notion! Those brainless weasels will have no idea what hit them when I'm done. Rest assured my little dirt-monkey, no one will dare to vote for anyone else but Zim!"

"Alright, alright, I get it. Look, when the buses come in a few hours to pick us all up and take us to the headquarters, wait for me by the hotel's front door. We have to go together.

"What for?"

"I'm going up on stage with you as an assistant when you present our findings."

"Why?"

"So people know I helped," Dreamcatcher said. "Just wait for me, ok?"

Zim begrudgingly agreed and hung up the phone.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, the hotel's residents were swarming the street in front. Giant buses were filling up fast and taking off with the Swollen Eyeball members inside. They were soon replaced with even more buses.<p>

"The headquarters are at the center of the island," Dreamcatcher said when she found Zim by the door. "It's where the Hawaiians don't go because the vegetation is so thick. Plus, the guards on patrol tend to scare some people off."

Zim wasn't listening. He was hiding his face behind his speech notes and occasionally hitting his backpack to stop Gir's fidgeting. Zim had spent the majority of last night training Gir to say _nothing_ except for "property of Zeke" and "destroy all humans". It hadn't been easy, especially with Gaz in the room.

She didn't question why Zim was teaching Gir to say those things, mainly because she didn't care, but Gaz did decide that it was best to invest in a spray bottle. When Zim got too loud, she sprayed him like a dog. To Zim, it seemed counterproductive since he immediately started screaming at the top of his lungs, but apparently as long as it was pain-induced noise, Gaz didn't mind. It was even harder to train the little robot when Gaz was trying to sleep because anything above a whisper made her reach for the spray bottle. Three different neighboring rooms came pounding on their door in the middle of the night to complain about the screaming.

"Come on, let's try to get on a bus." Sam grabbed Zim's arm.

Zim yanked himself away and glared at her.

"I don't want us to get separated," Sam sighed. "I think we've been through this before."

Together, they pushed through the sea of people and wedged themselves in the line beside the bus. They were jostled and nudged, but finally made it in. Sam leapt for the window seat and stuck her tongue out at the alien.

"When I'm leaders' leader, I'll make sure you never see another window as long as you live," Zim threatened.

Dreamcatcher laughed, thinking he was joking.

Zim hated the bus almost as much as he hated Dib. At least the people on board weren't as gross or annoying as the ones on the city bus. Still, Zim was twitchy and jumpy. Sam, thinking Zim was carsick, opened a window and offered to switch seats. It helped, but the ride to the headquarters was still torture for the boy.

Zim stared out the window and watched the buildings get fewer and fewer as the plants got thicker and thicker around the road. Eventually, the vegetation was so thick that Zim felt like they were riding through a rainforest. Suddenly, the plants stopped dead in their tracks as if someone took a knife and chopped the forest in half, taking away the farthest side. It was replaced with a large fence and pavement. Zim leaned out the window to look up ahead as did many other people in the bus.

The building that stood before them was the size of at least five hotels and twice the height. It was gigantic and not even the thousands of Swollen Eyeball members currently standing outside could make it look small. Some people were dressed in guard uniforms with the Swollen Eyeball's symbol stitched on to the chest. They walked German Shepard dogs around the fence's perimeter.

The bus stopped in front of a large metal gate and a guard took a quick look inside. He opened the gate and waved the bus driver in.

The bus pulled over in front of the building where a few other buses were letting passengers off. The ride had been long and everyone was grateful for a chance to get out and stretch. Zim and Sam exited the bus. Zim didn't bother trying to hide his face because he was invisible in the crowd. Dib could probably look him right in the eyes and still not see him amidst all the distracting people.

Zim looked over to Sam and saw he staring wide-eyed at the building. "This. Is. AMAZING!" She ran for it and Zim was glad she was holding onto his arm or else they'd never see each other again. "I've never been to the headquarters before!" She stopped running and squealed in delight when they made it to the building's entrance.

Zim was out of breath from the running, so he didn't respond.

"What are we waiting for?" Sam shoved Zim into the headquarters and followed him in.

The inside was like a city. The ceiling was far above their heads and the room stretched as far as the eye could see. There were golf carts that carried people through the building and moving walkways with railings on the side that brought visitors above the "city" to give them a nice view. There were lights, food stands, people, souvenir shops, signs, floating TV screens with pictures of mythical creatures and ads, cameras, people, statues of famous paranormal investigators and their accomplishments, people, fountains, people, decorations, people, people, and _more_ people! This place was amazing!

There were maps of the building in various places around the first floor, "The City Floor" as the floating screen above their head called it. On the maps were little red dots that that proclaimed where they currently were.

"If we take the teleporters over here," Sam moved her finger from the dot to the area in their left, "and take number 13, we'll be on the 13th floor where the speeches and voting will take place. But we still have a few hours before it starts. Maybe we can explore places like the leaders' leaders' offices or the jail where they hold Swollen Eyeball criminals or captured paranormal creatures. But they probably won't let us in. I want to see the Mythical Museum, too."

Zim stared at the map as well. He was lost just thinking about all these places and stories. From what he gathered, only the first floor had no individual rooms. All the other floors had walls, halls, doors, and separation.

"Do you think they'd let us in the laboratory if we asked really nicely? If not, we can take the second teleporter and see the Hall of Fame!" Dreamcatcher squeaked in excitement. "When you're leaders' leader, we'll be able to go anywhere we want! We could live like kings here!"

Gir shifted in Zim's backpack and he elbowed it. Hopefully, the little bot hadn't forgotten its training from the night before. "I just want to get to the speech room or whatever it's called. Take me there!"

"Are you sure?"

"Do not question Zim!"

"Geez, touchy," Sam scoffed. "Fine. I guess you have to practice your speech. You didn't forget the evidence on Zeke, did you?"

"Of course not!" Zim took a disk out of his backpack. "All the information is on this. Plus, there are some pieces of alien technology in my backpack."

"Alright. And remember to mention that I had a hand in all this."

The two took the teleporter and appeared in a wide, brightly lit room. There was a circular table that had a sign above with the words "Information" inscribed on it. This room was way less crowded, with only four people inside (not including the information desk workers). There was a door to their left with the word "auditorium" written on it. Zim and Sam entered the door.

This room was a lot bigger and dimly lit. It was like a giant theatre, complete with chairs that folded up when someone wasn't sitting down and a red tint from the lights reflecting off the red curtained walls. The wooden stage in front of the chairs was brightly lit and on it were seven podiums standing in a row. Cameras all over the auditorium were pointed at the stage.

"Not everyone can fit in here," Sam explained. "So they'll be watching it all on the floating screens or the giant TVs in different parts of the building."

Only a handful of people were sitting in the audience. Four leaders' leader candidates were on the stage, along with their assistants, making nervous small talk with each other and practicing their speeches. Zim made special note of their lanyards. One green, one pink, two orange. No reds. Good.

Zim suddenly remembered the issue with covering his face and panicked for a second until his eyes fell on a blue poster with the Swollen Eyeball's insignia on it. It was as big as his head. He quickly took it down and used his hands to tear off the edges.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

Zim didn't answer. He cut two holes in the insignia's edges and, using his lanyard, tied them together to make a mask. He put it on his face. "What do you think?"

"Very organization-loyal looking, but they won't be able to see you," Sam said.

"Great!"

"Why's that great?"

"Uhh... Because this way, they'll look at the qualifications and not the candidate!"

"Thats good. You should include that in your speech." Sam smiled.

_Problem solved_. _Nothing will go wrong_. Zim grinned underneath his mask. Everything was falling into place.

Agent Joker and Agent Dreamcatcher climbed on to the stage. Little by little as time passed by, the theatre filled up like a leaking sink until all the chairs were occupied. The candidates lined up at their podiums with their assistants behind them. The cameras turned on, the dim lights in the audience turned off, and the air was tense with anticipation. The current leaders' leaders walked to the center of the stage with their microphones and demanded everyone's attention.

The speeches began.


	14. Chapter 15

"I'm sorry everyone, but the auditorium is now full. You all have to watch the speeches from somewhere else."

A collective groan rose up from the crowd surrounding the closed door. Dib pushed his way forward. "Can't we just sit in the aisle?" he pleaded.

"Nice try," the man in front of the door said, "but no."

Dib sighed as the crowd around him dispersed. Gaz didn't care in the slightest. She was too busy staring down at her video game. "That's what you get for trying to find your friend instead of a seat," she said.

"I know Tunaghost is in there. She's one of the candidates. Darkbootie is probably her assistant. I wanted to sit with Ricky, but Agent E.T told me he was already in the theatre. And now it's full, so I can't sit with him anyway."

"It's funny how you think I care."

"I'm going to be the only one who's not seeing it in person!"

"You're not going to see it at all if you don't stop talking and go find a TV."

"You're right. Let's find somewhere to watch."

All the screens in the entire building were broadcasting what was going on in the theatre, but that did little to mitigate the multitude of people. Every room was full of spectators, sitting in chairs, on the floor, and on the tables, watching the speeches. The City Floor, despite its large expanse and many screens, was the most crowded. The background noise was too loud to hear the candidates properly, anyway. By the time Dib and Gaz found a comfortable place to watch, they had missed the first two speeches, including, to Dib's dismay, Tunaghost's.

They were in the café a floor above the auditorium, watching the big screen hung on the wall. All eyes, including the workers', we're glued to the TV. An orange lanyard was just finishing up his speech. Agent Joker was next.

"Hey, Gaz," Dib said. "That girl behind the one in the mask...Does she look familiar to you?"

"Stop talking to me." Gaz button mashed on her gaming console. High score.

Dib gazed at the screen. _No, it couldn't be... _

"Is that...Is that Sam? Sam from school? Gaz, look, is that Sam?"

Gaz glanced at the screen as the camera switched to a close-up of the speaker. "No, stupid, Sam's a girl."

"Not him! The one behind the guy in the mask. I think that's Agent Joker or Agent Grayscale. What is Sam doing here?"

"Dib, I'm going to give you to the count of five to stop talking."

Dib went silent, but didn't take his eyes off the screen for a second. _Sam's in the Swollen Eyeballs? What was she doing at my school? No, it can't be her...Can it?_

* * *

><p>Agent Dreamcatcher was a nervous wreck and she was glad the attention would be on Zim and not her. Her stage fright seemed to have tripled since the last time she stood in front of an audience, but that's to be expected considering she's not just standing before her own branch, but in front of...every member... in the entire-<p>

_No! Don't think about that! Think about something else! Lanyards! Look at the lanyards. Lots of purple, lots of red, many orange, a great deal of pink, blue, and green._ It seemed the branches of the candidates picked their seats early to see their branch-buddies talk. Dreamcatcher turned her attention to Zim, who was listening to the orange thread candidate. _How can he be the picture of calm? He's the one who has to do all the talking!_ Sam let out a nervous, shuddering sigh. She couldn't have picked a better partner. A better puppet.

The orange lanyard ended his speech and applause filled the auditorium. Sam's fear doubled as the cameras and audience members looked to Zim and to her as well. She couldn't stand it anymore. Despite the watching and judging eyes, Sam reached out and fearfully took Zim's hand.

He didn't pull away.

Sam felt better.

* * *

><p><em>You wretched, rotten, filthy, dirty, disgusting, horrible, ugly, putrid, spineless, unpleasant, troublesome, moronic, abhorrent, abominable, vile, lousy, despicable, brainless, dense, nasty, scrawny, foul-smelling, annoying, creepy, irrational, half-witted, mindless, hare-brained, revolting, gutless, uncouth, unstable, incompetent, empty-headed, dizzy-eyed, idiotic, unloved, unneeded, freaky, geeky, klutzy, loudmouthed, psychotic, scummy, wimpy, weird, useless as a screen door on a submarine <em>_**MUD-WORM**__! How__** DARE**__ you hold my hand?! You- YOU-_

But everyone was already watching. If he pulled away now, it would make him look like a jerk and potentially cost him votes. _Curse you, Sam. __**CURSE YOU**__!_

With no other choice, Zim used his free hand to fan out the speech papers on the podium. His backpack was at his feet, unzipped, with Gir crouching inside. His eyes were blue and worried and he looked up to Zim, waiting for the signal.

"Fellow members of the Swollen Eyeballs." It wasn't hard to avoid calling them insulting names like he normally did when addressing humans because every insult brain cell in his head was being directed at Dreamcatcher. "I have not been in your institute long, but I know an amazing organization when I see one."

* * *

><p>"That voice," Dib muttered under his breath. "Where have I heard that voice?"<p>

* * *

><p>"It would be of the most highest honor to help oversee an organization with such a great amount of loyalty and commitment in each and every branch and member. Let this mask on my face be a symbol of my loyalty and let what I'm about to show you be a symbol of my commitment."<p>

A very large screen lowered behind the candidates and a laptop was brought out to Zim. Zim, finally having an excuse, dropped Sam's hand and inserted the disk into the computer. The altered photos of Zeke appeared on the screen and the audience gasped.

"I know there is talk of an alien-loving traitor in the organization, but that didn't deter me or Agent Dreamcatcher," Sam turned red, but held her head up high, "from doing the right thing and presenting this to you today. For the past week, we have been researching an alien and have found more than enough proof to label him as such. Listen all and let me tell you about a planet called Irk..."

* * *

><p>Did couldn't believe what he was seeing. That was Zeke! And Irk? That's Zim's planet! Had Sam been at his school because of Zim? But then why was Zeke on the screen? And why did he look so different from Zim? Was he another alien? Was he working with Zim? But how- and why- what- who-<p>

Dib's head was reeling with questions. He had to keep listening.

_But that voice... _Dib couldn't recognize Zim's voice without all the inflections and random shouts. Zim's voice had never been so clear and calm before. _Where have I heard that voice?_

* * *

><p>Everything was going perfect and according to plan. Zim told the stunned audience about the mission, the tallests, the <em>everything<em> and used altered pictures to back up his claims. They were eating it up like chocolate. Sam had been right, no one accused him of lying or being a traitor because of the photos. He was practically _guaranteed_ to be elected leaders' leader.

And now, for the icing on the cake.

"I broke into the alien's base before coming to Hawaii and took something of his as further proof of what I'm saying. Swollen Eyeballs, I present to you an alien SIR unit!"

Zim threw the backpack to the center of the stage and Gir sprung out in a graceful leap. His eyes glowed red and he shouted, **"Property of Zeke! Property of Zeke! Destroy all humans! Property of Zeke!"**

People screamed and the candidates jumped away from where the robot stood. Sam looked elated. Gir gave the crowd his best scary face and opened up to show off the weapons and compartments installed in him, which set off more screams and shouts.

**"Property of Zeke! Destroy all humans! Destroy all humans! DESTROY ALL HUMANS!"**

* * *

><p>It all came together in Dib's mind the moment he saw Gir fly from the backpack. The transmission, the traitor, Sam, the broken arm, the mask, everything. Without a word, Dib jumped from his seat and sprinted out the door. Gaz called after him, but got no response. She quickly stood up and chased after her brother.<p>

_That voice! Of course!_ Dib was humiliated for being tricked and ashamed for not piecing it all together sooner, but most of all he was angry. He was furious at Zim for invading the only place he felt safe. The only place he _belonged!_ Now, Zim was stomping all over the organization's trust.

And Dib was going to stop him.

Dib took the teleporter to the information office and stormed his way to the auditorium's door. The man that had been guarding it was gone, no doubt watching the speech from another room. Dib grabbed onto the double doors and threw them open. He stood in the doorway and locked threatening eyes with Zim from across the room.

* * *

><p>Zim was trapped. Zim knew it and Dib knew it. There was no way he'd be able to run past all these people to escape without getting captured. <em>No, no, no, NO! NOTHING can go wrong today! This was my chance! My one shot! I was so close! SO CLOSE!<em>

_And the Dib. He was here?! Gaz was a filthy, rotten, LIAR!_ There Dib was, eyes narrowed with his right arm in a sling. _I'll gut him like a fish and make his sister WATCH! _

Gir was still center stage, shouting his allegiance to Zeke and threatening the human race. Zim grabbed the microphone, walked over the robot, and hit him on the head. As trained, Gir fell to the ground and didn't make a noise.

Dib was halfway to the stage and was getting closer with every step he took. He was in no rush. It was as if he could feel the fear radiating from Zim's heart and was savoring the moment.

But Invader Zim wasn't going down without a fight.

"I have learned so much over the past week," Zim said into the microphone, "and what I am about to tell you may be the most important thing I will have said all night. I know who amongst you has been working with the aliens. Working with _Zeke_ to be specific."

The audience stirred nervously. Dib was just a few rows away now.

Zim reached up and pulled the mask from his face. Every red thread in the audience gasped, as did Darkbootie and Tunaghost who were on stage, but it was already too late.

"I know who the traitor is. He's still in-"

Zim cut himself off, then looked shocked at Dib, pretending to have just noticed him there. He raised his hand and pointed to the human.

"It's him! It's the traitor! That's Zeke's partner! The traitor! He's coming to silence me!"


	15. Chapter 16

The first to react were the purple lanyards. A girl jumped up from her chair and shouted, "I _knew_ it!" from the top of her lungs. The voice shook the crowd out of their shock and Dib was immediately grabbed by two purple threads and a blue one.

"Stop!" Tunaghost cried into the microphone. "Leave him alone!"

"Dib's been lying about aliens this whole time!" A fellow red thread shouted as the voices in the room began to rise. "Look at the pictures! They're _nothing _like how Dib's been describing them!"

"Turning on your own branch member!" another red thread shouted. "That's sick!"

"So you're protecting him because he's a red thread?" a purple lanyard shouted. "Criminals! All of you!"

The voices got louder and louder until not even the candidates with the microphones could drown them out. Dib's branch snaked the boy away from the others while proclaiming his innocence and accusing Zim of being the real traitor.

"Liars!" The purple branches pulled Dib back into the hostile mob.

"Joker has proof!" The green threads grabbed Dib.

"Joker's the liar!" The red lanyards yanked him away.

"Dib's the traitor!"

"Joker's the traitor!"

"Dib!"

"Joker!"

Soon, it became a tug-of-war between those who thought Dib guiltless and those who didn't. The other colors were quickly taking sides. Knowing little about Dib, but not wanting to risk letting a traitor go free, many sided with purple. Zim had pictures and had been a wonderful Swollen Eyeballs member. How could they side with Dib against him?

"Don't touch him! Let him go!" Darkbootie jumped off the stage and shoved his way through the crowd. The crowd shoved back. A fistfight broke out somewhere in the back and it snowballed until most of the people below the stage were fighting each other.

The door opened and the headquarters' guards stormed in to stop the commotion and apprehend Dib. Unfortunately, it only added to the confusion. Zim laughed as Dib and several others were tackled to the ground.

Suddenly, Gir collided with Zim's back, knocking him forward against the podium. He turned around and saw Dreamcatcher as mad as she had ever been.

"What's _wrong_ with you?!" She screamed above the noise. "Dib is _not_ the traitor! Look what you did!"

She pointed to the door where more and more people were filing in to help settle the mob. She then pointed to the crowd where the purple and red branches were killing each other. It was almost as if they didn't even care about Dib anymore. He had been dragged away in handcuffs by the guards, yet the fight continued.

"Zim, tell them he didn't do anything! _Now_!"

"I'm not telling anyone anything, pig-smelly. I finally have the audience on my side and I'm not going to let anything go-" Zim was slammed against the podium, Dreamcatcher's hands wrapped tightly around his neck and squeezing shut his airway.

"I have been waiting _years_ to contribute solid proof of _something_ to the organization and get the recognition I deserve and show people I'm not just useless deadweight! This is the first time in my life that a paranormal creature was dropped into my hands! The first time I have _ever_ been this close to a paranormal breakthrough and I will _not_ have it overshadowed by you falsely crying traitor! _I'm_ the one who should be on the front page of the Swollen Eyeballs newsletter! _I'm_ the one who should be an organization legend!_ I'm_ the one who everyone should be talking about! Not Dib! Not you! _Me!_ You're nothing but a puppet!"

Zim thrashed and pried her hands off of his neck. He shoved her away and wheezed to catch his breath. Sam and Zim were the only ones standing still amongst the pandemonium in the room.

Sam continued. "Stage fright has kept me from showing the organization anything I have ever found. They think I'm useless and that I'd never find evidence of even the most careless creature. My prayers were answered the day Darkbootie told me about Zeke and asked me to help, but Dib seemed like the kind of person who would take all the credit for himself. Stage fright would keep me from demanding credit. That's when I got the idea of using a puppet. But what good is a puppet who doesn't do as I say!"

"_That's_ why you've been so helpful to me? Why you wanted me to be leaders' leader so badly?"

Sam jumped forward and grabbed him by the neck again. She tightened her grip and shook him to emphasis every word. "_I. Have. Been. Waiting. Years._"

Suddenly, the two were torn apart by the other leaders' leader candidates. The candidates were the only ones who didn't join in the fight below. Zim and Sam hissed, kicked, and spat, clawing the air towards each other like angry cats. Despite the heat on stage, the clamor below was starting to die down as the red and purple branches were separated. However, insults and threats still billowed in the air.

Dreamcatcher stopped fighting and looked up to see that she had been caught by Tunaghost.

"Agent Tunaghost!" Sam turned to face her. "I'm sorry! I didn't-"

"Why were you helping the alien?" Tunaghost demanded. "_You_ were the traitor this whole time?"

"What? No! I wasn't working with Zeke and Dib's not-"

"Not Zeke! Zim!"

"What?" Dreamcatcher looked across the stage where Zim was cooling off from the fight.

"The alien's name isn't Zeke, it's Zim! Invader Zim! You've been working with the alien and following the wrong kid!"

"But...but..." Sam's breathing quickened. "But-"

"_Zim_ is the alien! Dib must've been coming to expose him and Zim called him out first!"

"W-we have to tell everyone!"

"Don't you think we've been trying? The purple lanyards are so convinced that Dib is the traitor and Zim is an angel that no one is listening to the red threads! Look at them!"

The physical fighting had finally stopped, but they were debating in very loud voices riddled with threats and insults. Every color that wasn't red or purple were torn between the two with very few left undecided.

"What's going to happen?" Sam asked.

A certain purple-haired girl climbed up on the stage and walked to Agent Dreamcatcher, worried anger surrounding her in an emotional cloud. Her hands were balled into fists and she looked ready to strike Sam. The girl stopped when she heard Sam's question.

"Dib will be taken to a holding cell in the headquarters' jail until things are sorted out."

"How will they sort things out?"

"The leaders will talk to the leaders' leaders. They'll present what they know and the leaders' leaders will make an informed decision of what to do."

"But with everything Zim and the purple threads have been saying, evidence is stacked against Dib! They'll never say he's innocent!"

Agent Tunaghost didn't respond. Gaz backed away from the two and left the auditorium to find a map. After a few minutes of fearful thinking, Sam did the same.


	16. Chapter 17

A/N: I was tempted to rage-quit the entire thing when I accidentally deleted the file for this chapter and had to re-type it.

* * *

><p>Zim couldn't wait to tell the Tallests. This was just too good! Not only had he won the audience over with his amazing presentation, but he also exposed the "traitor" and got rid of his mortal enemy! This was great! Zim waited a few minutes for the crowd to thin out from the auditorium, and then walked to the far corner of the stage, away from the remaining people's eyes. The voting was being held off until further notice, but it was a small price to pay.<p>

Zim rolled up his sleeve to reveal a watch-like device tied to his arm. He clicked two buttons on the side and a green word appeared on the tiny screen.

"_Connecting_..."

After a short moment, the Tallests answered, looking bored and fed-up. "What is it now, Zim?" Red demanded.

Zim poured out the story in very quick speech, stopping only to catch his breath and to laugh in delight. He was so caught up in the tale that he didn't notice the Tallests' expressions change from boredom, to disbelief, and then to anger.

"And now, they're going to find the Dib-stink guilty! They'll execute him and I'll be free to rule this planet without having to worry about him!"

"You told the humans about Irk?" Red asked, still not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Genius, no?" Zim grinned.

"No," Purple said. "No, it's not."

"Zim, you just revealed all the secrets of Irk to an organization hell bent on opposing us! Do you have any idea what you just _did_?"

"But I-"

"You better fix this, Zim! Tell them you were lying! Tell them there are no such thing as aliens! Tell them that boy, Dib, isn't the traitor!"

"But millions will be under my-"

"It doesn't matter!"

"But I'm too far in! How do I stop this?"

"Break that kid out of prison. Tell everyone there are no such things as aliens and force him to do the same. Tell them the anonymous transmission came from Dib because he was mad at you for stealing his project. Force Dib to tell his branch and every branch that it was all a big misunderstanding and he now realizes aliens are impossible."

"But...but I finally got rid of him!"

"Zim!"

"Yes, my Tallests," Zim sighed.

The transmission shut off and Zim sighed again, covering the watch with his sleeve. He climbed off of the stage and walked out of the theatre to search for a map. _I'll present Dib with an offer he can't refuse. Either tell everyone it was all a lie or remain labeled as a traitor and be executed. Simple! Nothing will go wrong. I can get through this. _Zim found a map of the building by the information desk and he used it to find the directions to the headquarters' jail. 23rd, 24th, and 25th floor. _Really? How big can this jail be?_

* * *

><p>The jail was gigantic. There wasn't a ceiling until the 25th floor, making all three stories one giant room. The prison was dark, with the only light coming from the dim glow of the computers and random pieces of technology. There were no people to be seen. It must have been past closing hours. It was clear that the Swollen Eyeballs had great faith in their security system to leave it empty like this.<p>

Zim stepped out of the teleporter and found himself, as well as three other teleporters, inside a large, bullet-proof box. He pushed and pulled at the box's door, but it was locked tight. His PAK opened up and he shot the door with every laser he had on him, but still it remained standing.

The bottom of the jail, where Zim was located, was full of desks, chairs, filing cabinets, giant metal boxes and bookcases all arranged in a very disorganized fashion, much like a maze.

Zim pressed himself against the glass and looked up to the other floors. The circular and barred doors of the cells were all lined up against the walls with walkways going past them all in a hollow square. There were metal boxes stacked up on the walkways much like they were on the bottom floor: disorganized and maze-like. There were floating platforms hovering in the air in the middle of the room, still and unused. There were walkways zigzagging across the void, leading to stairs and connecting the corners of the jail for quick shortcuts between the sides.

Taking a closer look at the jail cells, Zim found that the circled perimeters were glowing a dim, green light which would allow someone to walk on the upper floors without bumping into anything. That would be helpful in finding the brat.

"Authorized personnel only."

Zim jumped in surprise at the sound of the voice. "Gir! What are you doing in there?"

"I don't know," Gir said, "but authorized personnel only!"

Zim pulled at the box's door, but it was still locked. "Gir, let me in."

"Are you authorized?"

Zim let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes, Gir. I'm authorized. Now let me in!"

Gir let out a little giggle. "I don't know what authorized means."

"Gir, open the door this instant!"

"It needs a key."

"Get the key, then!"

"Where is it?" Gir asked.

"How could you not know? You're inside!"

"Oh, that I used the other entrance."

"What other- Never mind! Just find the key!"

"I found a quarter!" Gir held out his prize to Zim.

"Gir!"

"Ok, ok, sheesh." Gir reached up and clicked a button on the side of the box. The door swung open and Zim, who had been leaning against the door, fell forward and onto the ground.

"I thought you said it needed a key!" Zim got up and dusted himself off.

"I thought so, too." Gir shrugged.

"Whatever. Where's the stupid human's cell?"

"We don't know. This place is so big!"

"Then we'll have to search all the cells." Zim looked up to all the floors above him. They had a long search ahead of them. "Gir, you take the left, I'll take the right."

Gir's eyes flashed red. "Yes, my master!" He ran to the right. Zim groaned and went left.

Zim took the stairs and arrived at the 2nd floor of the prison. He walked slowly by the cells, peering inside each one as he passed, but all of them were as dark and empty as the floor below.

"This is going to take forever," Zim muttered.

"I know, right?" Gir appeared behind Zim.

"Gir! I thought I told you to look over there!"

"We already looked there."

"We? Who's-" Zim was cut off when he was tackled from the side.

"What are _you_ doing here, _traitor_?" Sam growled.

"You're just as guilty as I am!" Zim pushed her off. "And I can ask you the same thing. I know you're not authorized personnel. Your pathetic stage fright would-"

Sam backhanded him across the face. Zim kicked her in the stomach. They crawled backwards away from each other, staring daggers.

Zim turned to Gir, still on the floor. "You came here with her?"

"No. I came here with her."

Gaz hit Zim on the back of the head with her video game.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Gaz, Sam, and Zim yelled at the same time.

"I'm breaking my brother out of jail! What else?!" She looked to Sam, who was also still on the floor. "And why are _you_ here?"

"To break an innocent kid out of jail. I helped put him there and I can't have that on my conscience."

They both turned to Zim. "And what about you?"

"I'm breaking the weasel out so he can tell everyone I'm not an alien."

"Figures," Sam and Gaz said together.

"How did you get in here, anyway?" Zim asked, finally standing up.

"We used the other entrance." Sam grabbed Gaz's arm to help herself up and Gaz smacked her, not forgetting that Sam was half to blame for her brother's imprisonment.

"What other entrance?"

They both pointed in different directions.

"How-"

"Elevator," Gaz said.

"Stairs," said Sam.

"And _you_, what were you doing with Gir?" Zim picked Gir up off of the floor.

"He's a robot," Gaz said. "I thought he would be helpful."

"You were wrong."

"I was wrong."

"Well, like it or not, it seems we're all now working together," Zim said.

"When we're done, I'm going to break every bone in your body and boil you alive," Gaz said.

"And then I'm going to fish out your remains, set them on fire, and scatter your ashes in my cat's litter box," said Sam.

"It would be preferable to having to spend another second with you," Zim snarled.

"You've never met my cat."

The four happily split up to search for Dib. Sam and Gaz took the 25th floor and Zim and Gir searched the 24th. After a few minutes, Gaz called out that she found him.

"Gaz, shut up!" Sam said, running over to the girl. "You could have set off a noise-triggered alarm or something. The Swollen Eyeballs are masters at security!"

"Nothing happened when I broke the lock on the entrance earlier and don't tell me to shut up."

"Sam!" Dib glared at her through the bars. "And Zim? Gaz, why did you bring _them_ here?"

"I didn't. They followed me."

"Zim followed no one!"

"I came here by myself!"

"They're here to help," Gaz said.

Gaz knelt by the cell, searching for a weak spot, but Zim pushed her aside and grabbed her brother through the bars.

"Alright, mud-worm. Here are you options: Either come with me and tell everyone that there are no such things as aliens or stay here and rot until they execute you."

Sam and Gaz attacked Zim and wrangled him away from Dib's cell.

"Ignore him," Gaz said, getting to work on picking the lock.

Sam leaned against the wall and watched her. "You do realize that by breaking him out of a Swollen Eyeball's prison, we're committing treason against the organization anyway, right? If Dib _is _found guilty, we're all going down."

Gaz sighed and ignored her. She asked her brother, "you wouldn't happen to know where a key is, would you?"

"No, but don't you think it's weird that you guys were able to just walk in here with no trouble?"

"I broke a lock," Gaz said, almost through with picking this one.

"I broke several," Sam added.

"Gir pressed a button," Zim said.

"Yeah, but the Swollen Eyeballs are masters at security systems, so you'd think they'd do something to protect their own jails. Like, maybe a hidden camera or a guard or-"

The lock opened.

Alarms blared.

The lights switched on and an unnoticed camera mounted on the wall swiveled towards the children. A bright light flashed as their picture was taken. Suddenly, every screen in the room, as well as in the entire building, showed their photo with an amber alert warning written at the bottom.

"-a trap," Dib finished.


	17. Chapter 18

"Darkbootie, Tunaghost, I understand your concern, but the evidence seems to be stacked pretty high against Dib," one of the leaders' leaders said, flipping through copies of Zim's speech and photographs. "This Agent Joker looks like he knows what he's talking about, and he has proof to back it all up."

"It would be easy for him to get proof because he's an alien himself," Tunaghost said. "And Zim is lying like the transmission said the traitor would be. Aliens are green, not blue."

The leaders' leaders and a few branch leaders were sitting around a large table in a small meeting room, discussing the situation. Coffee was being served and every so often a regular member was called in and questioned.

The purple leader spoke next. "It just seems strange to think that an alien would knowingly join an organization that would have no qualms about testing or dissecting him, let alone run for a leadership position."

There were nods and polite agreements.

"But evidence isn't proof," the brown leader came to the rescue. "We have an eyewitness report from Joker, yes, but if he's really an alien like Dark and Tuna say, then his report is no good and must be thrown out."

"True, yes."

Agent Darkbootie cleared his throat. "Well, the way I see it, either Zim is the traitor or Dib is."

"So?"

"So, it doesn't seem right that we have one locked up in a cell and not the other. Why should Joker be allowed to go as he pleases when they both are an equal risk?"

"He's right," a leaders' leader said. "Plus, we can question them thoroughly if we have them both together."

"Alright." Another leaders' leader stood up. "Let's go find him, then. Sam, too. We don't know how much she knew about this."

The group left the meeting room and took the teleporters to the City Floor.

"Now," the blue leader said, "we'll find the kids and see who's the traitor. No stress, no problem. Nothing can go wrong from here on out."

Suddenly a blaring noise, much like a school's fire alarm, exploded across the City Floor. Every screen, TV, projection, and a few neon signs shut off, only to flicker back to life with a new image. The picture showed Sam, Gaz, Zim, and Gir huddled by a partially opened cell door, staring with surprised expressions at the camera. Dib was doing the same, his hands on the door's bars. The words "Warning: Amber Alert" we're written in bold, white letters at the bottom of the photo.

A robotic and loud voice came from the speakers. "Warning, security breach. Warning. Be on the lookout for escaped prisoners. Repeat: escaped prisoners. Warning."

"Oh no," Tunaghost whispered.

"No way!" the leader of the purple branch yelled. "They're working _together_?!"

* * *

><p>The alarms were deafening. The kids clapped their hands to their ears and bolted away from the cell. From down below, they could hear fast, pounding footsteps coming towards the prison room.<p>

"Gir! Hold them off!" Zim ordered. "It'll give us time to think of a plan and-"

"Gir's not worth the metal he's made of!" Sam yelled. "Just run! _Run_!"

Gaz, Sam, Dib, and Zim did so. Gir stayed behind and said without a trace of sarcasm, "oh, yeah! That'll make us look innocent."

Zim turned back, grabbed the robot, and then ran after the group. Sam made a sharp turn to the left at the corner and pulled open a door with three broken locks hanging from its side. It lead them to a narrow hallway with a left turn and a right turn up ahead.

"If we split up, we're goners," Dib said.

"I'll take the risk!" Gir disappeared to the left, screaming all the way.

Gir's screaming got quieter and quieter the further away he ran until the noise suddenly cut off. A second later, the screaming picked up again, only getting louder and louder.

"Someone's chasing him! Go back!" Dib yelled.

The four turned towards the prison door, but before they took a step, it burst open. The "traitor" group bolted to the right with a cluster of four guards close on their tails. Within seconds, Gir overtook the group and ran beside Zim, still screaming. The two people that were chasing the bot joined the guards. They were gaining fast on the kids.

"Someone has to keep them back!" Zim shouted.

All hands grabbed Zim and tossed him to the guards. Zim fell to the floor and the pursuers toppled over him, knocking each other down in a domino effect. They clawed, tripped, and struggled, giving the traitor group plenty of time to get ahead. Zim, using his PAK's spider legs, dragged himself out of the confusion and chased after the others.

He turned a corner and found them huddled by a door which Gaz was trying to pick.

"What are you doing? We have to run!"

"Your little robot heard people up ahead. If we keep going, we'll be surrounded," Gaz said. "Now shut up, I need to concentrate."

The door unlocked and the five ran in. They slammed the door behind them and found themselves in a large, dark office. There were at least 20 cubicles in the room and there was a water cooler standing in the corner next to a counter with an empty box of donuts on it. The chairs were empty, but the computers were on. To the traitor group's dismay, their photo was on every one of them.

"Barricade the door," Sam said, rushing to one of the desks and trying to pull it towards the entrance.

Gaz helped Sam with the desk while Zim and Dib dragged a bookcase over, knocking down numerous novels from its shelves as they did. Before they could get to the door, it started opening. The organization-proclaimed traitors dropped what they were doing and slammed themselves against the door, closing it. The people on the other side pushed back and it soon became a reverse tug-of-war.

"None of you bothered to_ lock_ it?!" Gaz shouted.

"Well, geez! Sorry for being so forgetful when we're running for our lives!" Sam shouted back.

Someone behind the door threw themselves against it, temporarily sliding the kids forward a good number of inches. The group yelped in fear and yelped again when the people did it once more.

"You're an alien," Sam yelled to Zim, "do something!"

"Do what?" The people on the other side were working together now, throwing themselves at the door at the same time.

"I don't know! Something! Anything!"

"Wait, I got it! Get away from the door!"

"Are you nuts?!"

Despite Zim's warning, the three humans continued pushing against the door. A big mistake because they were nearly set ablaze when Zim ordered Gir to turn on his jets. The little robot faced the jets away from the door and was pressed hard against it. The force of the jets kept the door shut no matter how hard the people on the other side pushed.

"Barricade! Quick!" Zim said, locking the door.

Gaz, Sam, Dib, and Zim jumped to continue dragging the furniture towards the door. They managed to stack two large desks, three bookcases, and five chairs against it before the little robot gave out. The traitor group stepped back and screamed when they heard the door splinter from all the people trying to get in, but the barricade held.

"That bought us some time," Dib said, looking around the room, "but now we're trapped in here."

"Better here than out there," Sam said. "Look for some sort of secret exit or a weapon that we can defend ourselves with."

The alarms had finally stopped blaring, though their picture remained on every screen. After a few minutes of desperate searching, and finding nothing, Dib walked over to one of the cubicles and sat down at the computer.

"What are you doing?" Gaz asked.

"Checking something."

With nothing better to do, the group gathered around and watched Dib bring up the Swollen Eyeballs secret homepage. Sure enough, their picture was on the front page, the amber alert warning written at the bottom. Next, Dib checked his email. Again, they found the children's picture with the warning.

"Please tell me they didn't send that to everyone," Sam said. "Please please please tell me they didn't send it to everyone."

"They did," Dib said quietly.

"No no no no no." Sam started pacing with her fingers twisted in her hair.

"What's the big deal?" Gaz asked.

"The big deal, Gazerina, is that there are millions and millions of people in the Swollen Eyeballs. All of which are looking for us. They know what we look like, but we don't know what _they_ look like. We won't be safe anywhere!"

"Did you just call me-"

There was a very loud _thump_ at the door and another horrific splintering noise following it. A chair fell off the barricade and tumbled to the ground.

"You have two minutes to surrender peacefully or we get the guns and start shooting!" A voice called.

The traitor group could tell from the chorus of voices that there were even more people waiting for them outside.

"What do we do?" Sam asked. "Give ourselves up or forever live in fear?"

"Zim will never give up! I will fight down to my very last breath!"

"_You_ don't get to decide what we do!" Sam snarled. "Need I remind you that this is all_ your_ fault?"

"And you helped me every step of the way, pig-smelly. Just remember that."

"Hey, yeah," Dib said, turning to Sam. "This is all your fault, too!"

"Me? What did _I_ do?"

"Invited me to the Swollen Eyeballs," Zim said, happy to throw her under the bus, "helped me get popular, helped me write a speech, helped me get a scapegoat, Zeke, and helped me break Dib out of prison which got us here in the first place."

Dib glared at Sam. "What's up with that Zeke thing, anyway? Why him?"

Sam blushed and looked to the floor. "Darkbootie and Tunaghost sent me to help you with your alien problem, but they didn't want you to know about it. I misremembered Zim's name and thought Zeke was the alien."

"Some help you are," Dib scoffed. "And if you were going to help me, why did you present the evidence without me?"

Sam didn't answer. Dib pieced it together, anyway.

"You were going to _steal_ Zim from me and take the credit for yourself? _And_ do it all knowing full well that talking about an alien could put you at risk of being labeled a traitor? What's _wrong_ with you?!"

Sam grabbed Dib by the collar and shook him in a fit of shameful indignation. "I've been waiting _years_ to present evidence of the paranormal and I was going to present it! Traitor or not!"

"Save the fighting for later," Gaz said. "We need to find a way out of here."

Dib looked up to one of the air vents near the top of the wall. "What about crawling through the air vents? We can just stand on the table and climb in."

"Perfect!" Sam said.

"Not perfect," Gaz said. "Crawling through the vents may work on TV, but in real life we'd make so much noise we'd alert the entire building of our whereabouts."

"How do you-"

"Mythbusters," Gaz shrugged.

"Ah, yes, but you're forgetting one thing Dib-sister," Zim said, using his spider legs to unscrew the bolts on the vent's grate and take it off. "We're in a fanfiction and our author has writer's block. Nothing can go wrong."

The fourth wall broke and the guards and various Swollen Eyeball members swarmed into the room. The traitor group jumped into the air ducts and crawled to freedom. However, like Gaz said, the sound they made was painfully loud and they were forced to drop down in a nearby room to avoid people following the noise. Luckily, this one had a window.

"Here we go." Sam opened up the window and looked down. They were very high up. "Any ideas?"

Gir squealed and opened up his jets.

"I'll ride Gir to safety!" Zim said.

"You mean _we'll_ ride Gir to safety," Dib said. "We as in me, Sam, and Gaz. _You_ can get down with your spider thingies!"

"How about I ride Gir to safety and you all stay here and get shot?"

"Great idea! While we're at it, I'll be sure to tell them your base's address and that water causes you-"

"Alright! Alright enough! Gir's yours!"

Zim's PAK opened and his spider legs unfolded out, lifting him up into the air. He leapt out the window and latched on to the window sill. He let go and latched on to a window below. Sam, Gaz, and Dib did their best to hold on to the little robot and he flew out the window. Held down with the weight of all three kids, Gir dropped, regained control, dropped again, and hovered until they made it to the ground. Once there, they bolted for the woods surrounding the headquarters.

"Stay off the road!" Dib said. "That's the first place they'll look for us!"

The kids obeyed and sharply turned left. Soon, they were out of breath and completely lost. They could hear the voices of the Swollen Eyeball members, but they were very faint and very far away.

"How long do you think it'll take them to realize we're not in the building anymore?" Gaz asked.

"Maybe five minutes?"

The kids ran again, this time not stopping until they crossed a narrow river.

"How far are we?" Sam asked, catching her breath.

The kids stood still and listened to the world around them. No voices, no vehicles, no gunshots.

"Far enough," Dib said, sitting on the ground. "Well, we're criminals now. Now what?"

"We can't go back to civilization," Gaz said. "The Swollen Eyeballs are after us."

"We can't stay here," Dib said. "We don't know the first thing about surviving the wilderness."

"And we can't go home," Sam said. "We'd be putting our families in danger, too."

They all looked to Zim.

Zim stared back, then realization dawned on him.

"No. _No!_"

"It's the only option, Zim," Dib said.

"Never! And I _especially _wouldn't bring a couple of _Earth-Worms_ with me!"

"Tell them Earth is useless," Sam said. "And not worth taking over, so you came back. Tell them that we're your slaves or pets or something."

"I said no!"

"Then you'll return to your home planet a failure," Dib said. "Zim, your mission is shot. Everyone is looking for you. Millions know your name and millions will hunt you down to the ends of this planet. They _will _find you if you stay. Either go back under the ruse that you didn't want to waste time on a useless planet, or go back as a failure who couldn't even keep himself out of the public eye."

Zim growled and groaned in frustration, pacing back and forth and clenching his fists. "And why should I take _you_?"

"As "proof" to your leaders that you didn't fail. Would a failure be bringing back pets or slaves? They're more likely to believe you if we come along."

"My Tallests will believe me no matter what I tell them. They know how amazing I am! I don't need dirt-children to prove myself."

The humans looked defeated.

"However," Zim continued. "I like the idea of having slaves."

"Why'd you have to give him the idea?" Gaz whispered angrily to Sam.

"Hey, it's either this or face the wrath of the Swollen Eyeballs, missy."

"Alright. I'll take you three with me as slaves."

Sam was relieved, Gaz was slightly upset, and Dib was mortified. From Zim's PAK came a little command device. He pressed buttons and called for something called a Voot Cruiser.

"You mean you could have summoned a spaceship this whole time?" Sam demanded.

"No. If I had summoned it sooner, it would have given me away as an alien. And it can't go through walls. Now that we have nothing left to lose and we're outside, it's fine."

In about half an hour, the Voot Cruiser dropped into the woods from the sky. It was a tight fit, but the kids crawled in and made themselves as comfortable as possible.

"If you get carsick, you're going out the window," Zim said.

"This is crazy," Sam muttered.

"Relax, simple-minded human worm. Nothing can go wrong."

"Every time you say that, I get really anxious for some reason."

Zim pressed some buttons, pulled some levers, and soon they were flying through the sky. Sam and Dib pressed their faces against the window to watch the scenery fly by while Gaz sat with her arms crossed, angry at the world because she forgot her game back at the headquarters. _Stupid nurse_, Gaz thought. _Stupid Zim. Stupid Sam. Stupid Swollen Eyeballs. Stupid...Stupid me! If I hadn't got so worried about stupid Dib...! _But deep down, she was still glad he was safe.

"You know what Ima do?" Gir popped up behind Zim's chair.

"Gir, don't you dare."

"Ima sing the doom song now!"

* * *

><p>AN: The story ends here! Or, at least, the first part does. There will be a sequel about their lives on Irk in another...wait, what are these things called? Not chapters. Stories? I think that's it...sequel in another story, so keep your eyes open for that! Thank you so much for sticking with me this long! All your comments make me squee in delight! Also, shout out to Violets117!


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